Josh: OK. DRAKE'S A PRETTY AWESOME GUY.
Drake: SOMETIMES JOSH IS RIDICULOUS.
Josh: BUT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING LIMITS.
Drake: CASE IN POINT...
Josh: TAKE LAST HALLOWEEN...
Drake: LAST HALLOWEEN, ME AND.
JOSH WENT TO THIS HUGE PARTY AT
THE SAN DIEGO MEGADOME...
Josh: DRAKE AND I WERE AT THIS.
PARTY, RIGHT...
Drake: SO I FOUND A GARBAGE BAG.
AND LOADED IT UP WITH, LIKE,
20 POUNDS OF CANDY.
Josh: AND DRAKE COMES HOME WITH.
THIS GINORMOUS SACK OF CANDY.
Drake: SO JOSH GOES ON HIS.
COMPUTER AND PRINTS OUT A
SCHEDULE OF WHEN I SHOULD EAT IT.
Josh: SO I CREATED A COMPU.
CALENDAR TO HELP DRAKE PLAN HIS
CANDY CONSUMPTION.
Drake: YEAH. I WAS SUPPOSED TO.
EAT, LIKE, 2 PIECES OF CANDY
PER DAY FOR THE NEXT YEAR.
Josh: THEN HE LOCKED ME IN THE.
CLOSET AND ATE THE ENTIRE BAG OF
CANDY IN, LIKE, A HALF HOUR.
Drake: THEN I LOCKED JOSH IN A.
CLOSET AND ATE THE ENTIRE SACK OF CANDY.
Josh: AND THEN HE THREW UP.
Drake: I PUKED.
Josh: AND AFTER THAT, HE FALLS ASLEEP.
Drake: THEN I FELL ASLEEP,
SO JOSH SLEPT IN THE CLOSET THAT NIGHT.
Josh: KID'S GOTTA KNOW HIS LIMITATIONS.
Drake: IT'S FUN LOCKING JOSH IN CLOSETS.
Megan: WHAT?
Drake: ♪ WE'RE GONNA BE THE BOSS OF YOU ♪
Josh: ♪ AND YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT WE SAY ♪
Drake: ♪ HA HA ♪
Josh: ♪ HA-HA HA HA ♪
Megan: OK. YOU CAN'T SING.
YOU'RE A MORON. AND WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY?
Drake: WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE.
FACT THAT MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA
BE OUT OF TOWN ALL WEEKEND.
Josh: WHICH MEANS WE ARE IN.
CHARGE OF THE HOUSE...
Drake: THE REFRIGERATOR...
Josh: THE TV SET... Drake: AND THE YOU.
Megan: OH, YOU GUYS REALLY THINK.
YOU'RE GONNA BE IN CHARGE?
Josh: YEAH, WE ARE.
Drake: IN FACT, I'VE JUST.
DECIDED TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL.
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
Megan: I WAS WATCHING SOMETHING.
Josh: UM... WERE.
Drake: YEAH, GOOD ONE.
Megan: GIVE ME THE REMOTE.
Drake: I DON'T THINK SO, MEGAN.
IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN
UP TO YOUR... HEY!
Josh: WHAT THE?! MEGAN, YOU.
CAN'T JUST FLIP... OH, YAH... UHH!
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
Audrey: OK, BOYS, WE'RE ABOUT TO HEAD OUT.
Walter: YEAH, WE DON'T WANT TO.
GET CAUGHT IN TRAFFIC ON THE WAY TO...
Audrey: OK. WHY ARE YOU GUYS ON THE FLOOR?
Josh: IT'S A LONG, PAINFUL STORY.
Audrey: ALL RIGHT. JOSH,
NOW HERE IS ALL THE INFORMATION
ABOUT THE HOTEL WE'LL BE STAYING AT.
Walter: SO, COME ON. LET'S GO. I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE.
Audrey: OK. UM, OH, AND, BOYS,
HERE'S $200. NOW THAT IS FOR
FOOD AND EMERGENCIES ONLY.
Josh: GOT IT.
Walter: AND REMEMBER, L.A.'s.
ONLY 2 HOURS AWAY... Josh: GO.
Drake: GO. HAVE A GOOD TIME.
Josh: BYE.
Drake: OK, MEGAN.
Josh: YOU HAVE TO DO ALL YOUR HOMEWORK...
Megan: LISTEN TO ME.
YOU GET ON ONE OF MY NERVES THIS
WEEKEND, AND YOU'LL BOTH WAKE UP
TOMORROW MORNING VERY CONFUSED IN CUBA.
Drake: MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BOTHER HER.
Josh: WORD.
Drake: OH, HEY, YOU HEAR THAT, JOSH?
Josh: WHAT?
Drake: IT'S SAYING, "SPEND ME,
JOSH. WON'T YOU SPEND ME?"
Josh: MONEY IS NOT A PUPPET.
Drake: COME ON. Josh: NO. ALL RIGHT, YOU HEARD.
MOM AND DAD. THIS MONEY IS FOR
FOOD AND EMERGENCIES ONLY.
Drake: YEAH, YEAH.
Josh: WHAT?
Drake: MAN, HOW MUCH FUN IS IT.
SPENDING 200 BUCKS?
Josh: DRAKE, WE HAVE NO MONEY.
LEFT? HOW ARE WE GONNA BUY FOOD FOR MEGAN?
Drake: [FRENCH ACCENT] DINNER IS SERVED.
Drake: ♪ I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE, BUT I FOUND A WAY,
I FOUND A WAY, AND...
IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND ♪
Chorus: ♪ SEE WHAT'S INSIDE ♪
Drake: ♪ IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME
TIME TO REALIZE, BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE,
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND,
OVER YOUR SHOULDER, YOU'LL KNOW
THAT I TOLD YOU I'll ALWAYS BE.
PICKING YOU UP WHEN YOU'RE DOWN,
SO JUST TURN AROUND... ♪
OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
Man, on cell phone: SIR... SIR, PLEASE?
I KNOW WE DON'T HAVE A
RESERVATION, BUT EVERY HOTEL IN
TOWN IS FULL. OH, OK. I SEE.
NO, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT.
WE WILL BE FINE... SLEEPING IN THE STREET!
Drake: YOU HEAR THAT?
THEY NEED A PLACE TO STAY.
WE CAN RENT THEM A ROOM AT THE
HOUSE WHILE MOM AND DAD ARE AWAY.
Josh: HEY, THAT IS SO, SO STUPID.
Drake: COME ON, MAN. IT'S GONNA.
BE SPRING BREAK ALL WEEKEND.
Josh: SO?
Drake: SO EVERY HOTEL IN.
SAN DIEGO IS GONNA BE BOOKED.
I BET THEY GIVE US, LIKE, 200 BUCKS.
Josh: LOOK, WE HAD 200 BUCKS,
ALL RIGHT, WHICH YOU PROMPTLY
THREW AWAY ON BUBBLE GUM,
A WRISTWATCH, A TELESCOPE,
AND A MEXICAN ROBOT.
Drake: COME ON. THIS IS COOL.
[ROBOT MAKES SOUND]
Josh: OK, THAT IS PRETTY COOL.
[ROBOT MAKES SOUND]
Drake: ANYWAY, WE NEED MONEY.
WHICH THEY WILL PAY US.
Josh: THEY WANNA STAY AT A.
HOTEL, ALL RIGHT? NOT SOMEONE'S HOUSE.
Drake: SO THEN WE'LL TELL THEM.
OUR HOUSE IS ONE OF THOSE FANCY
HOTELS. YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU
CALL THEM? BED AND BREAKFAST.
Josh: NO.
[ROBOT MAKES SOUNDS]
Josh: NO.
[ROBOT MAKES SOUNDS]
Josh: NO!
[ROBOT MAKES SOUNDS]
Josh: ALL RIGHT.
Drake: TERRY, GAIL, RIGHT THIS WAY.
Gail: OH, THIS IS LOVELY.
Drake: THANK YOU. IT'S JUST A.
LITTLE PLACE I LIKE TO CALL
THE DRAKE AND JOSH INN.
Terry: GREAT.
Terry: SO WHERE DO WE, UH, CHECK IN?
Drake: OH, UH... HERE. HERE, UH, JUST...
GO AHEAD AND WRITE DOWN YOUR
NAMES AND... OTHER HOTEL STUFF,
AND JOSH WILL TAKE YOUR BAGS UPSTAIRS.
Josh: DRAKE.
Drake: WE'LL TAKE YOUR BAGS UPSTAIRS.
Terry: HOW GREAT IS IT THAT WE.
FOUND THIS PLACE?
Gail: I KNOW. IT'S SO NICE.
THEY REALLY MADE IT FEEL LIKE
IT'S SOMEONE'S ACTUAL HOME.
Terry: HELLO.
Megan: HI.
Gail: HOW ARE YOU?
Megan: GOOD.
Terry: UH, HAVE YOU BEEN STAYING HERE LONG?
Megan: KINDA.
Gail: HOW'S THE FOOD?
Megan: DRAKE! JOSH!
Drake: OH, HEY! CAN WE TALK TO.
YOU IN THE KITCHEN FOR A SECOND?
Megan: NO. Josh: JUST FOR A SECOND.
Megan: NO.
PUT ME DOWN!
Josh: HEY!
Megan: YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE.
BEING LIFTED! AND WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?
Drake: THEY NEEDED A HOTEL.
Megan: AND?
Josh: WE SORT OF TOLD THEM THIS.
WAS A HOTEL.
Megan: OK, I'M CALLING MOM AND DAD.
Drake: STOP HER!
Josh: NOW, YOU MAY HAVE THE.
PHONE BACK AFTER WE TALK TO YOU.
Megan: I WOULDN'T WANT THAT.
PHONE BACK IF I WERE DYING ON
THE KITCHEN FLOOR.
Drake: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
DO NOT CALL MOM AND DAD.
Megan: I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU.
TURN OUR HOUSE INTO A HOTEL.
UNLESS... Drake: WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONEY?
Megan: NO. I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.
Drake: ALL RIGHT. THEN WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE FOR YOU TO KEEP QUIET.
ABOUT THIS? Megan: YOU WANNA PRETEND THIS.
HOUSE IS A HOTEL? FINE. THEN I
WANNA BE TREATED LIKE A GUEST.
Josh: HUH?
Drake: WHAT?
Megan: YOU KNOW, MAKE MY BED,
BRING ME FOOD, AND ANYTHING ELSE I WANT.
Josh: NO. NO WAY. NO... Drake: DEAL.
Josh: DEAL?
Megan: DEAL?
Josh: OK.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Megan: I AIN'T GETTING THAT.
Drake: ME, NEITHER.
[RING]
Josh: HELLO?
Terry: THANKS.
Josh: SURE.
Terry: MMM. THIS COFFEE IS SO.
FRESH. HOW GREAT IS THIS PLACE?
Gail: SO GREAT. DO YOU KNOW THIS.
IS THE NICEST BED AND BREAKFAST
WE'VE EVER STAYED AT?
Josh: JUST LET ME KNOW IF.
THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO TO
MAKE YOUR STAY HERE MORE PLEASURABLE.
Gail: CAN I GET SOME HONEY FOR MY TEA?
Josh: [SOUTHERN ACCENT] OH, SURE.
THING, HONEY.
MA'AM.
Drake: HEY, JOSH. Josh: [REGULAR VOICE] HEY.
Drake: HOW GOES THE HOTEL BIZ?
Josh: PRETTY GOOD. WE'RE MAKING
200 BUCKS A NIGHT OFF THESE
GUYS, AND I KINDA LIKE RUNNING A HOTEL.
Drake: I'M SO PSYCHED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT, 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN.
DOWN AT THE BEACH ALL MORNING.
Josh: DOING WHAT? Drake: TALKING TO A BUNCH OF.
COLLEGE KIDS WHO ARE HERE FOR
SPRING BREAK WITH NO PLACE TO STAY.
Josh: SO?
Drake: RIGHT IN HERE, GUYS.
Josh: WHA... WHA...
THE GIRL... HOW ARE YOU, GIRL ON
A COOLER? WHAT... BOOGIE BOARD?
WHAT... WHAT THE... DOG?
WHOA. WHAT THE...
DRAKE, YOU CAN'T LET THESE
PEOPLE STAY HERE.
Drake: OH, REALLY? 'CAUSE ABOUT.
HALF OF THEM PAID IN ADVANCE.
Josh: SPRING BREAKERS! WELCOME.
TO THE DRAKE AND JOSH INN!
WHOO!
All: WHOO!
Josh: YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?
I KNOW I AM.
THERE ARE MORE?
OH. HI.
UM... BEACH BALLS... UM, HI.
[PEOPLE TALKING]
Josh: OH, COME ON, GUYS. NO.
THROWING STUFF IN THE HOTEL.
HEY! HEY, WE HAVE A STRICT "NO PET" POLICY.
[RUFF]
EXCEPT FOR YOU.
Drake: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT.
SO WHO ELSE WANTS SOME SUNTAN LOTION, HUH?
[CHUCKLES] AND WE JUST RAN OUT.
Josh: DRAKE, THIS IS OUT OF.
CONTROL, ALL RIGHT? YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
[LIMBO MUSIC PLAYING]
Drake: OH! CAN'T TALK. GOTTA LIMBO.
Terry: SIR?
Josh: YEAH, WHAT?
Terry: YOU REALLY NEED TO CLEAN.
THE POOL. IT'S GETTING PRETTY DIRTY.
Josh: WHAT POOL?
Gail: THE ONE UPSTAIRS.
Josh: POOL?!
Josh: UHH!
COME ON, YOU GUYS! NO ONE'S
SUPPOSED TO BE IN OUR ROOM.
HEY, WHO PUT THIS POOL IN HERE?
Boy: BELLY FLOP!
[ALL CHEERING]
Josh: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT.
DOING A BELLY FLOP!
All: GO! GO! GO!
Boy: HEY!
[CHEERING]
YEAH!
Man: THAT WAS AWESOME.
Josh: EXCUSE ME!
DRAKE!
DRAKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Drake: OH, HEY. THIS IS NIKKI.
Nikki: HEY, I'M NIKKI.
Drake: YEAH, SHE'S IN BEAUTY SCHOOL, SO I'M LETTING HER GIVE.
ME A HAIRCUT.
Nikki: I BROUGHT MY SCISSIES.
Josh: WOW. THAT'S... THAT'S REALLY COOL.
Nikki: I KNOW.
Josh: NOW GO AWAY!
Drake: WHOA. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
Josh: LOOK, I WANT ALL OF THESE.
PEOPLE OUT OF HERE NOW!
Drake: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
THEY'RE PAYING US A FORTUNE,
AND I'M HAVING FUN.
Man: HEY, MAN, IS THIS YOUR GUITAR?
Drake: [GASPS]
OK. I WANT ALL OF THESE PEOPLE
OUT OF HERE NOW!
Josh: ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO THIS.
MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! OUT OF THE
WAY. OUT OF THE WAY.
[UNPLUGS STEREO, MUSIC STOPS]
All: HEY! HEY!
Josh: [FAKES CRYING] SORRY,
EVERYBODY, ALL RIGHT?!
BUT THE DRAKE AND JOSH INN IS
NOW OFFICIALLY CLOSED.
[ALL GROAN]
YEAH, SORRY. SO IF EVERYONE WILL
PLEASE... OW!
Drake: WAIT! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU...
[MUSIC STARTS]
JOSH! HERE, GET UP.
Josh: UHH!
Drake: HERE.
MAN, HOW ARE WE GONNA GET ALL
THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE?
Josh: THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON.
TOUGH ENOUGH TO HANDLE 75 COLLEGE KIDS.
Drake: OK, YOU GO GET HELP,
AND I'M GONNA STAY HERE AND MAKE SURE...
Josh: HELEN? HELEN!
Helen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK TODAY.
Josh: LOOK, I NEED YOUR HELP, ALL RIGHT?
Helen: YOU WANNA BORROW MY OINTMENT?
Josh: NO. LOOK, I HAVE 75 PEOPLE.
AT MY HOUSE.
Helen: HOW MUCH OINTMENT DO YOU.
THINK I HAVE?
Josh: NO. LOOK, ALL RIGHT...
THERE WAS A PARTY, AND... AND IT
SORT OF GOT OUT OF CONTROL,
AND NOW THEY WON'T LEAVE,
AND I WAS HOPING MAYBE YOU COULD
COME OVER AND... AND SCARE THEM AWAY.
Helen: OK, LOOK, JOSH, I AM YOUR.
EMPLOYER, AND I DON'T FEEL IT'S
MY RESPONSIBILITY TO HELP YOU
OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL PREDICAMENTS.
Josh: PLEASE... Helen: I AM SORRY, JOSH.
Josh: YOU'RE... YOU'RE RIGHT.
Helen: MM-HMM.
Josh: I... I BETTER GET HOME.
BEFORE ALL THOSE INSANE PEOPLE
EAT DRAKE ALIVE. Helen: DRAKE'S IN TROUBLE?!
WHOA! COMING, DRAKE!
MOVE IT NOW!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Drake: GET OFF OF...
Megan: DRAKE! I NEED ANOTHER SET.
OF CLEAN SHEETS SENT UP TO MY ROOM.
Drake: WHAT? WE JUST SENT CLEAN.
SHEETS UP THERE, LIKE, 2 HOURS
AGO. WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE?
Man: I'M SHEET MAN!
♪ DA DA-DA DA ♪
Megan: I WANT THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE!
Drake: SO DO WE!
Helen: DRAKE?! DRAKE?!
WHERE IS HE?
Josh: THERE HE IS!
Helen: PUT HIM... YOU BETTER PUT.
THAT BOY DOWN!
Josh: DRAKE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Drake: UHH. YEAH.
Helen: OH! DON'T WORRY, HONEY.
HELEN'S HERE. I'M GONNA MAKE ALL
THESE BAD PEOPLE GO AWAY.
Drake: OH, THANK YOU, HELEN.
Man: OH, YEAH. WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL?
I'M J.D. WARFIELD, AND THIS IS
MTV SPRING BREAK COMING AT YA
FROM BEAUTIFUL SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA.
[CHEERING]
Helen: MTV? WELL, I DO LOVE THE.
MUSIC TELEVISION.
Josh: ARE THESE GUYS REALLY FROM MTV?
Drake: YEAH, THEY SHOWED UP A.
HALF HOUR AGO.
Helen: ♪ I WANT TO LOVE YOU, FEEL YOU,
WRAP MYSELF AROUND YOU,
I WANT TO SQUEEZE YOU, PLEASE YOU,
I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH,
AND IF YOU MOVE REAL SLOW, I'll LET IT GO ♪
HELP ME OUT NOW.
Drake: OK, WHY DID YOU BRING HELEN?
Josh: I THOUGHT SHE'D MAKE ALL.
THESE PEOPLE LEAVE.
Drake: WELL, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY.
WORKING, IS IT?
Helen: ♪ I'M SO EXCITED ♪
All: WHOO!
Helen: ♪ AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT ♪
All: WHOO!
Helen: ♪ I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL,
AND I THINK HE LIKES IT ♪
All: WHOO!
Josh: THIS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE.
Drake: HEY! WHAT...
Josh: THAT'S NOT NATURAL!
Walter: ♪ I'M SO EXCITED,
AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT,
I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL,
I THINK I LIKE IT, I'M SO EXCITED ♪
Audrey: WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?
Walter: OH, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S, UH, IT'S MTV. IT'S A BIG
SPRING BREAK THING, I THINK.
Audrey: LOOK AT ALL THOSE INSANE KIDS. HA.
WALTER.
Walter: HUH?
Audrey: DOES THAT...
DOES THAT LOOK LIKE OUR LIVING ROOM?
Walter: WHAT?
WELL, I GUESS IT DOES,
A LITTLE, BUT THERE'S NO WAY
THAT COULD BE OUR HOUSE. I MEAN,
HA, COME ON.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Josh: DO NOT EAT THAT CUSHION!
OH!
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
WHOA!
GET IN HERE!
Drake: WHAT?! WHAT?!
Josh: LOOK AT THE CALLER I.D.
Drake: LOS ANGELES! MOM AND DAD?
Josh: EITHER THEM OR LINDSAY LOHAN!
Drake: WELL, JUST ANSWER IT.
Josh: YOU GOTTA MAKE THESE.
FREAKS BE QUIET FIRST.
[BLOWS AIR HORN]
Drake: OK, NOW, PLEASE, IF.
EVERYONE COULD JUST BE QUIET
FOR 60 SECONDS, AND THEN YOU
GUYS CAN MAKE ALL THE NOISE YOU WANT, OK?
Josh: HELLO? HAPPY SATURDAY.
Audrey: JOSH? IS ANYTHING GOING ON THERE?
Josh: UM, NO. HA HA. NOTHING TO SPEAK OF.
Audrey: WELL, WE'RE WATCHING TV,
AND WE COULD SWEAR WE'RE LOOKING
AT A WILD PARTY GOING ON IN OUR
LIVING ROOM.
Josh: IT'S FOR YOU!
Drake: MOM? WHAT'S DOING?
Walter: ALL RIGHT. DRAKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON,
BUT WE'RE COMING HOME.
Drake: NO! NO! UH... [HANGS UP PHONE]
YOU CAN'T! IT'S... AARGH!
Josh: SO HOW'S L.A.?
Drake: THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY HOME.
Josh: OH! Drake: MAN, IF WE DON'T GET ALL.
THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE IN LESS
THAN 2 HOURS, OUR LIVES ARE OVER.
Josh: WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
Drake and Josh: MEGAN!
Drake: OK, WHAT DO WE DO?
Megan: JUST PUSH THAT THING...
Josh: I'M PUSHIN' IT!
Megan: NOW OPEN UP THE AIR.
CONDITIONING VENT.
Drake: OK, NOW WHAT?
Megan: NOW HELP ME PUT THIS HOSE.
UP INTO THE VENT.
Josh: COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
HERE. GO, GO, GO.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[BLOWS AIR HORN]
[MUSIC STOPS] Nikki: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
Man: YEAH, CRANK THE TUNES BACK UP.
Drake: SHH. EVERYONE, QUIET, PLEASE.
Josh: OK, WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY.
Drake: UH, YES. IT SEEMS WE HAVE.
A SERIOUS GAS LEAK HERE IN THE
DRAKE AND JOSH INN.
Man: OH, UH, SORRY. I THINK THAT WAS ME.
Josh: NO! ALL RIGHT. THERE IS A.
SERIOUS LEAK OF... HYDRO...
MON-MONOXOPUFF GAS.
Drake: YEAH. IT MAKES YOUR EYES BLEED.
Josh: SO EVERYONE WILL PLEASE.
LEAVE THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY.
Second man: I DON'T BELIEVE 'EM.
Nikki: YEAH. COME ON, LET'S PARTY.
All: YEAH!
Drake: NOW!
Megan: COPY.
[MACHINE TURNS ON]
Josh: OH, NO! LOOK!
Drake: IT'S THE MONOXOPUFF GAS.
Helen: COVER YOUR EYES, PEOPLE.
COVER YOUR EYES.
[ALL TALKING]
Josh: GET OUT! GET OUT!
Helen: YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE! GO ON!
Josh: NOW LOCK IT!
NOW HUG ME, BROTHER!
Drake: OH! THEY'RE HOME!
Josh: COME ON. QUICK. QUICK.
1, 2, 3... 4.
Drake: OH, YOU LOSE A TURN, JOSH.
Josh: RATS!
Walter: AHEM.
Megan: OH. LOOK WHO'S BACK.
Drake: HEY.
Audrey: YEAH... WE'RE BACK.
Drake: SO HOW COME YOU GUYS CAME.
HOME SO EARLY?
Walter: WE WERE WATCHING TV, AND WE SAW...
Audrey: A WHOLE BUNCH OF CRAZY.
COLLEGE KIDS PARTYING LIKE MANIACS.
Walter: AND A DOG AND A BIG.
HAIRY GUY WITH A ROOT BEER BOTTLE...
Audrey: AND A WOMAN WAS SINGING R&B TUNES.
Walter: SHE HAD A LAZY EYE.
Audrey: AND WE COULD HAVE SWORN.
IT LOOKED JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE.
Drake: YEAH, OK.
Josh: COME ON. WE WOULDN'T HAVE.
A PARTY WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.
Walter: WELL...
I'M SORRY WE DIDN'T TRUST YOU.
Audrey: WE WON'T DOUBT YOU AGAIN.
Walter: HEY, TO MAKE IT UP TO.
YOU, WHY DON'T WE ALL GO OUT
FOR SOME PIZZA? Drake: OH, GREAT.
Megan: AWESOME.
Josh: UH, BUT, UH... FIRST, UH...
THE 3 OF US HAVE TO GO DO
SOMETHING UPSTAIRS.
Drake: WHAT DO WE HAVE TO...
Megan: [LAUGHS] BE RIGHT BACK.
Walter: I WONDER WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT.
Audrey: TEENS ARE CRAZY.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I WONDER WHO THAT IS.
[KNOCK]
Walter: YES, OFFICERS, CAN WE HELP YOU?
Officer: YES. SIR, DO YOU KNOW.
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HOST A
TELEVISED EVENT FROM A PRIVATE
RESIDENCE WITHOUT A CITY-AUTHORIZED PERMIT?
Walter: HUH?
Audrey: WE DIDN'T HOST A TELEVISED EVENT.
Officer: WE HAVE EVIDENCE THAT SAYS YOU DID.
Walter: BUT, OFFICERS...
Officer: COME WITH US, PLEASE.
Walter: HOLD ON... BUT YOU SEE...
I'M A WEATHERMAN.
Drake: OK.
Josh: WE'RE READY.
Megan: HELLO?
Josh: AND I CANNOT BELIEVE I LET.
YOU TALK ME INTO SPENDING OUR
MONEY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR FOOD.
Drake: I BOUGHT GUM. GUM IS FOOD.
Josh: ARRGGH!
[GUM SPLATTERS ON FLOOR]
Helen: JOSH!
Josh: WHAT?!
Helen: WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING?
Josh: IT'S MY DAY OFF.
Helen: OH, AND SO YOU THINK.
THAT'S AN EXCUSE NOT TO BE WORKING?
Drake: HEY, HELEN. Helen: WHAT IS IT?!
Drake: AAH!
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... ]