Josh: YA KNOW? I HATE IT WHEN.
DRAKE GETS ME INTO "SITUATIONS."
Drake: I LOVE GETTIN' JOSH INTO.
"SITUATIONS."
Josh: ONE TIME, HE ENTERED ME.
INTO A CHICKEN WING-EATING CONTEST.
Drake: LIKE, ONCE, I ENTERED.
JOSH INTO A CHICKEN WING-EATING CONTEST.
Josh: SO THEY RING THE BELL, AND
I START SCARFIN' DOWN CHICKEN
WINGS AS FAST AS I CAN.
Drake: I SWEAR JOSH WOULDA WON.
Josh: BUT THE CONTEST GOT.
STOPPED WHEN THESE CRAZY PEOPLE
SHOWED UP TO PROTEST.
Drake: BUT THE CONTEST GOT.
STOPPED BY THE P.F.C.R.
Josh: THE PEOPLE FOR CHICKENS'
RIGHTS. THEY WERE VERY UPSET.
Drake: THEY WERE SO MAD, THEY.
THREW JOSH IN A LAKE.
Josh: I WAS THROWN INTO A LAKE.
Drake: I JUMPED IN AND HELPED.
HIM SWIM TO SHORE.
Josh: I WAS MOIST AND ANGRY.
Drake: I ATE SOME OF THE.
LEFTOVER CHICKEN WINGS.
Josh: THERE WERE 3 THINGS I.
LEARNED THAT DAY.
Drake: I LEARNED A FEW THINGS THAT DAY.
Josh: NUMBER ONE... THE PEOPLE FOR.
CHICKENS' RIGHTS? CRA-ZY.
Drake: THE P.F.C.R... OUTTA CONTROL.
Josh: NUMBER 2... DRAKE CAN GET ME.
MIXED UP IN SOME PRETTY INSANE SITUATIONS.
Drake: JOSH... NOT THE BEST.
SWIMMER. AND LAST...
Both: CHICKEN WINGS? PRETTY GOOD.
Man on TV: AND 3... AND 4...
AND 5. DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE.
Josh: NOW YA TELL ME!
Drake: WHAT'S UP?
Josh: HEY, JUST WORKIN' OUT.
Drake: WHY? MEGAN BEAT YA AT.
ARM-WRESTLING AGAIN?
Josh: IT WAS A TIE! HEY,
CHECK OUT MY BICEP. HOW'S IT FEEL?
Drake: KINDA LIKE A PLASTIC BAG.
FILLED WITH PUDDING.
Josh: CUTE.
WHAT'S THAT?
Drake: POTATO LAUNCHER.
Josh: WHERE'D YA GET A POTATO LAUNCHER?
Drake: TOY STORE.
Josh: IT SAYS HERE IT'S FOR.
CHILDREN AGES 6 TO 12.
WHY DID YOU BUY THIS?
Drake: IT LAUNCHES POTATOES UP TO 50 FEET.
Josh: WELL, THEN.
Megan: ALL RIGHT, IT IS FREEZING UPSTAIRS.
Drake: WHOA, WHOA. WHAT DO YOU.
THINK YOU'RE DOING?
Megan: TURNING DOWN THE AIR.
CONDITIONING SO I DON'T FREEZE TO DEATH.
Drake: YEAH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
Josh: YEAH, WE LIKE IT COLD UP HERE.
Megan: WELL, I DON'T.
Drake: TOO BAD, THE THERMOSTAT'S.
IN OUR ROOM.
Josh: SO KNIT YOURSELF.
A SWEATER, LITTLE GIRL.
Megan: YOU KNOW WHAT I'D RATHER KNIT?
Josh: WHAT?
Megan: A STUPID BAG SO I COULD.
STUFF YOU IN IT AND SELL YOU IN
A CONVENIENT POUCH.
Drake: I'D BUY ONE. I'll GO PLAY.
WITH MY POTATO.
[TURNS VOLUME BACK UP]
Man on TV: OK, NOW WE'RE GONNA.
MOVE ON TO THE HEAVY STUFF.
LET'S GET READY TO DO A DEAD LIFT.
Josh: READY.
Man: AND SQUAT.
Josh: SQUATTIN'.
Man: GRIP.
Josh: GRIPPIN'.
Man: AND LIFT.
[GRUNTING]
AND HOLD IT... HOLD IT... HOLD IT.
[SCREAMING]
Drake: IT WORKS.
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE,
BUT I FOUND A WAY, I FOUND A WAY,
IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND,
SEE WHAT'S INSIDE,
IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIZE,
BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE,
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND OVER YOUR SHOULDER
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU
I'D ALWAYS BE PICKING YOU UP
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, SO JUST TURN AROUND
OOH ♪
Megan: MOM, THERE'S A BUG ON THE WALL.
Audrey: JOSH, GO KILL THE BUG.
Josh: GO KILL THE BUG.
Drake: I DON'T WANNA KILL THE BUG.
Walter: JOSH, SHE ASKED YOU TO DO IT.
GET UP AND GO SQUISH THAT BUG.
Audrey: RIGHT NOW.
Josh: OK.
Audrey: OK, WHAT UP WITH THE CANE?
Josh: UH, THIS? UH... I USE IT TO.
KILL BUGS AND WHATNOT.
SEE?
Audrey: JOSH!
Walter: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
Josh: I DON'T KNOW. THIS HOUSE IS TILTED.
Megan: NO. JOSH CRUSHED HIS FOOT.
AND REFUSES TO GO TO A HOSPITAL.
Audrey: YOU WHAT?
Walter: LET'S GET HIS SHOE OFF.
Josh: LOOK, DON'T EVEN WORRY.
ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT? I'M... I'M
SURE IT'S FINE. IT DOESN'T
REALLY EVEN HURT ANYMORE!
Walter: OH, MY! JOSH!
Megan: COOL.
Drake: IT LOOKS LIKE MOM'S MEATLOAF.
WHICH TASTES SO GOOD.
Audrey: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
Drake: HE DROPPED A BARBELL ON IT.
Josh: YEAH, AFTER YOU SHOT ME WITH A POTATO.
Audrey: A POTATO?
Drake: IT'S A LONG STORY.
Walter: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS?
Josh: BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF.
HOSPITALS, ALL RIGHT?!
Walter: OH, COME ON.
Audrey: DO YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS THIS COULD BE?
Walter: YOU COULD LOSE THAT FOOT.
Josh: BUT I LOVE THIS FOOT!
Audrey: COME ON, WE HAVE TO GET.
HIM TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.
Megan: IF THEY HAVE TO REMOVE.
HIS FOOT, CAN I HAVE IT?
Walter: NO!
Josh: WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
Audrey: THEY HAVE TO DEVELOP THE X-RAYS.
Josh: I HATE THIS PLACE.
Audrey: JUST BE PATIENT.
GET IT?
"PATIENT"? HA HA HA HA HA!
AH, WHY DO I TRY?
Walter: SERIOUSLY, JOSH,
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO
FREAKED OUT BY HOSPITALS.
Doctor: HURRY! HURRY!
SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG!
CODE RED! CODE RED!
Woman: WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?!
Doctor: I DON'T KNOW!
Josh: I'M OUTTA HERE.
Audrey: LOOK, HERE COMES DRAKE.
WITH YOUR FROZEN YOGURT.
Josh: GOOD. DID THEY HAVE FRENCH VANILLA?
Drake: YEP.
Josh: IT'S EMPTY.
Drake: YEAH.
Josh: HEADACHES!
Doctor: HI, SORRY TO KEEP YOU ALL WAITING.
Walter: THAT'S OKAY, DOCTOR. Audrey: HOW DO HIS X-RAYS LOOK?
Doctor: WELL, NOT SO GOOD.
Megan: ARE YOU GONNA HAVE TO CUT OFF HIS FOOT?
Doctor: NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
SERIOUS. BUT HIS FOOT WILL
REQUIRE A BIT OF SURGERY.
Josh: SEE YA.
Audrey: STOP THAT.
SO, HE REALLY NEEDS SURGERY?
Doctor: YES, IF HE WANTS TO HAVE.
COMPLETE MOBILITY OF HIS
LEFT FOOT, WE WILL HAVE TO OPERATE.
Walter: WILL YOU BE DOING THE PROCEDURE?
Doctor: NO, WE'LL GET HIM A FOOT SPECIALIST.
Josh: SPECIALIST?!
Audrey: AND WHEN DOES THIS.
SURGERY TAKE PLACE?
Doctor: A FEW HOURS.
[JOSH SQUEALS] Doctor: I'll HAVE A NURSE CHECK.
HIM INTO A ROOM.
Josh: AW, THEY'RE GONNA CARVE ME.
UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS HAM.
Drake: RELAX. SHE SAID IT WASN'T SERIOUS.
Audrey: YOU'LL BE FINE.
NOW, LISTEN, YOUR FATHER IS
GONNA STAY HERE WITH YOU
WHILE I TAKE MEGAN HOME.
Josh: ACTUALLY, DAD, COULD YOU.
RUN HOME AND PICK ME UP, LIKE,
A COUPLE MAGAZINES AND MY
LAPTOP? YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I'M
GONNA BE WAITING AROUND FOR A WHILE.
Walter: YOU GOT IT, KID.
Audrey: MEGAN, DON'T YOU.
WANNA SAY SOMETHING TO
YOUR BROTHER BEFORE YOU GO?
Megan: I HOPE YA DON'T DIE.
Josh: LOVE YOU, TOO.
MAN, I'M SCARED.
Drake: DON'T BE SCARED, MAN.
LOOK, I'M GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE WITH YOU, OK? YOU GOT
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. [BEEPING]
OH. HANG ON A SECOND.
GOT A TEXT MESSAGE.
WHOA, ARIANI JUST INVITED ME
OVER TO GO NIGHT SWIMMING.
Josh: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE?
Drake: ARIANI. NIGHT SWIMMING.
DUDE, I GOTTA GO.
Doctor: ALL RIGHT, STUDENT.
NURSES. WE'RE GONNA TAKE A 5
MINUTE BREAK AND THEN CONTINUE
WITH OUR TOUR.
Drake: I'M GONNA STAY.
RIGHT HERE WITH YA, MAN.
Josh: "ONCE THE FOOT IS DRAINED,
THE SURGEON MUST CAREFULLY AND
SLOWLY SCRAPE THE METATARSAL BONES."
WOOZY!
Drake: GOOD AFTERNOON.
Josh: OH, HEY, DOC.
LOOK, I WAS JUST ON THE
INTERNET, READING ABOUT FOOT
SURGERY, AND I WANTED TO
ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS... Drake: YES?
Josh: WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!
Drake: PLAYING DOCTOR.
Josh: PLAYING?!
Drake: YEAH. DUDE, THIS.
HOSPITAL'S LIKE CRAWLING WITH CUTE NURSES.
Josh: SO? THEY'RE ALL LIKE.
IN THEIR TWENTIES. THEY DON'T WANT TO GO OUT
WITH SOME GUY IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Drake: EXACTLY. SO I FOUND THIS.
CLOSET WITH DOCTOR'S STUFF,
PUT IT ON, AND IN THE PAST
HALF-HOUR, I'VE MADE LIKE 4
DATES WITH THE HOTTEST NURSES.
Josh: WHAT?!
Drake: WHAT?
Josh: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Drake: SURE I CAN.
LOOK. MICHELLE'S THURSDAY,
KRISTEN'S FRIDAY, LATEESHA'S SATURDAY. OW!
YOU HURT ME WITH A SANDWICH.
Josh: COME HERE!
YOU CAN'T IMPERSONATE A DOCTOR!
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW!
Drake: I'M NOT "IMPERSONATING" A.
DOCTOR. I'M PRETENDING TO BE ONE.
Josh: PRETENDING TO BE A DOCTOR IS ILLEGAL!
IF THEY CATCH YOU,
THEY WILL PUT YOU IN JAIL.
Drake: OH. I WOULD NOT DO WELL IN JAIL.
Josh: YEAH!
Drake: THAT'S OK. I'll.
JUST TAKE THE DOCTOR'S STUFF OFF AND...
Dr. Carlson: JOSH NICHOLS?
HELLO THERE. I'M DR. CARLSON.
I'll BE DOING THE SURGERY ON.
YOUR FOOT IN A FEW HOURS, SO I
THOUGHT I'D STOP BY TO SAY... OH, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS
INTERRUPTING. DOCTOR.
Drake: DOCTOR.
Dr. Carlson: I DON'T THINK.
WE'VE MET BEFORE.
Drake: UH... RIGHT, RIGHT.
YOU SEE, I'M JUST FILLING IN.
Dr. Carlson: JUST FILLING IN?
JUST FILLING IN?
OH, MY GOODNESS! OF COURSE!
YOU'RE DR. NUSSBAUM?!
Drake: YES. YES, I'M DR. PUS-BAUM.
Josh: NUSSBAUM.
Drake: NUSSBAUM.
IT'S GOOD TO MEET YOU. Dr. Carlson: WELL, NO, NO,
BELIEVE ME. IT'S A PLEASURE FOR
ME TO MEET YOU. JUST...
STUDENTS, PLEASE. PLEASE, COME
IN HERE! ALL OF YOU. ALL OF
YOU. COME ON IN. STUDENTS,
MAY I INTRODUCE YOU TO DR.
ELLIOT NUSSBAUM, THE YOUNGEST SURGEON TO EVER
GRADUATE FROM HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL.
Drake: REALLY?! I MEAN, YES.
THAT IS WHAT I DID.
Dr. Carlson: WE WEREN'T.
EXPECTING YOU UNTIL TONIGHT.
Drake: OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU.
LOSE TRACK OF TIME WHEN YOU'RE
SO BUSY SAVING THE LIVES.
Dr. Carlson: INDEED. ALL OF.
THESE ARE MEDICAL STUDENTS AT U.C.L.A.
Drake: AH.
Dr. Carlson: WOULD YOU MIND.
TELLING THEM YOUR INCREDIBLE STORY?
Drake: WELL... EXCUSE ME. THEY.
WANT TO HEAR MY STORY.
Josh: I'D TELL 'EM YOUR STORY.
Drake: INTERESTING. UH...
Dr. Carlson: OH, I'M SORRY. I.
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU
DON'T WANT TO APPEAR BRAGGADOCIOS.
Drake: YES. "BRAGAGADOCIOS."
I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
Dr. Carlson: AT THE AGE OF 13,
DR. NUSSBAUM GRADUATED FROM
HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL.
Drake: RIGHT.
Dr. Carlson: BY 15, HE WAS.
PUBLISHED IN THE NEW ENGLAND
JOURNAL OF MEDICINE.
Drake: SURE.
Dr. Carlson: AND TO THINK THAT.
YOU GREW UP IN KANSAS ON A CORN FARM.
Drake: AH, YES. WE GREW ALL.
KINDS OF CORN THERE. ON THE COB,
POPPED, CREAMED.
Dr. Carlson: HA HA HA HA! OH!
THAT'S THAT NUSSBAUM SENSE OF
HUMOR THAT WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT.
Drake: UH, YES. WELL, I SHOULD.
BE GOING NOW. SO MANY... Dr. Carlson: WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
DOCTOR, I'M JUST ABOUT
TO PERFORM A FOOT PROCEDURE ON
A FEMALE PATIENT OF MINE.
Drake: AH, YES! FEMALE.
Dr. Carlson: AND THE DOCTORS IN.
TRAINING HERE WOULD BENEFIT
SO MUCH MORE BY WATCHING YOU DO
IT THAN MYSELF.
Drake: OH, NO, NO, NO. Dr. Carlson: NO, NO, NO.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
IT WOULD BE AN HONOR TO WATCH
A GENIUS LIKE YOURSELF PERFORM SURGERY.
Drake: NO, REALLY, I CAN'T.
Dr. Carlson: WHY NOT?
Drake: I DON'T KNOW HOW.
Dr. Carlson: HA HA HA HA HA!
A BRILLIANT SURGEON AND FUNNY!
OH, SCORE ANOTHER ONE FOR NUSSBAUM.
Drake: NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I REALLY HAVE TO GO. Dr. Carlson: OH, NO, NO, NO,
SIR. YOU ARE IN FOR SUCH A
TREAT. YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE
GENIUS PERFORM SURGERY!
RIGHT THIS WAY.
WE WON'T TAKE NO FOR A...
Drake: NO, SIR, I... I CAN'T.
Dr. Carlson: THERE WE GO.
Drake: ANY ADVICE?
Josh: FOR THE SURGERY OR PRISON?
Dr. Carlson: DOCTOR! THIS WAY.
Drake: OHHHHH.
Walter: PARDON ME, NURSE?
Nurse: YES? Walter: COULD YOU TELL ME WHAT.
TIME MY SON'S SURGERY IS SUPPOSED TO START?
HIS NAME IS JOSH NICHOLS.
Nurse: OH, I'M SORRY.
HE PASSED AWAY.
Walter: WHAT?!
Nurse: OH, WAIT.
JOSH NICHOLS.
HIS SURGERY DOESN'T BEGIN
FOR A COUPLE MORE HOURS.
Walter: THANKS.
Nurse: SURE.
Dr. Carlson: THE OPERATING ROOM.
IS RIGHT THIS WAY, DOCTOR.
Drake: OH, YOU KNOW, I REALLY.
THINK YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE
PERFORMING THIS OPERATION.
Dr. Carlson: AND MISS THE CHANCE.
TO LEARN FROM A DOCTOR LIKE YOU?
OH, NO. THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY
OF A LIFETIME. RIGHT THIS WAY.
Drake: UHH!
Dr. Carlson: RIGHT THIS WAY, DR. NUSSBAUM.
Drake: YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S.
REALLY NICE THAT YOU WANT ME TO... UHHH...
WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?
Surgeon: I HOPE IT'S OK, DR. NUSSBAUM, BUT.
WHEN THE HOSPITAL STAFF FOUND
OUT THAT YOU WERE PERFORMING
THE SURGERY, WELL, EVERYONE
WANTED TO OBSERVE.
Drake: WOW. HOW GREAT.
SO, FOOT SURGERY, HUH?
WHAT ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT?
AN INGROWN TOENAIL OR SOMETHING?
Dr. Carlson: NO, NO.
THIS PATIENT REQUIRES MAJOR
RECONSTRUCTION OF THE FOOT.
Drake: MAJOR?
Dr. Carlson: YES. SHE GOT THAT.
RIGHT FOOT GOT CAUGHT IN A FOOD PROCESSOR.
Drake: WHAT WAS SHE MAKING?!
Dr. Carlson: I DON'T KNOW.
BUT BOY, IT MAKES YOU THINK, DOESN'T IT?
WELL, SHALL WE SCRUB UP?
Drake: OH, I'M COOL.
I TOOK A SHOWER LAST NIGHT.
Dr. Carlson: HA HA HA HA!
MY GOD, MAN, YOU ARE A JOKE MACHINE.
Drake: YEAH.
Audrey: MEGAN!
Megan: YES, MOMMY?
Audrey: WHERE ARE YOU?
Megan: UM... HANG ON.
I'M IN DRAKE AND JOSH'S ROOM.
Audrey: THERE YOU ARE.
DON'T YOU WANT DINNER?
I ORDERED CHINESE.
Megan: OH, COOL. SURE.
Audrey: UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
IN THE BOYS' ROOM?
Megan: OH, I JUST WANTED TO.
CLEAN UP A LITTLE, MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING'S NICE FOR JOSH WHEN
HE GETS HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.
Audrey: YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK.
JOSH HAS ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY
HE IS TO HAVE A LITTLE SISTER LIKE YOU.
Megan: IT'S OK.
HIS HAPPINESS IS MY REWARD.
Dr. Carlson: ANYTIME YOU'RE READY, DOCTOR.
Drake: OK.
Anesthesiologist: WHY DON'T.
YOU START THE OPERATION ALREADY?
Drake: RIGHT. UH...
I WILL FIRST BEGIN BY MAKING
A SMALL INCISION BY THE BIG TOE BONE...
Josh: HELLO, EVERYONE!
SORRY I AM LATE!
Dr. Carlson: EXCUSE ME, WHO ARE YOU?
Josh: HA HA HA! I AM DR.
VISHI-SWOZ.
Dr. Carlson: DR. VISHI-SWOZ?
I'M AFRAID I'VE NEVER HEARD OF...
Drake: YES! DOCTOR, I'VE BEEN.
WAITING FOR YOU.
Dr. Carlson: YOU KNOW EACH OTHER?
Josh: INDEED. DR. NUSSBAUM AND I.
STUDIED TOGETHER AT THE COLLEGE OF HARVARD.
Drake: YEAH. YOU SEE, DR.
VISHI... Josh: SWOZ...
Drake: SWOZ IS ACTUALLY MY ASSISTANT.
Josh: I PREFER TO BE.
THOUGHT OF AS A COLLEAGUE.
Drake: COLLEAGUE, ASSISTANT.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? Josh: WELL, IT MAKES A.
DIFFERENCE TO MY MOTHER!
Anesthesiologist: WE MUST BEGIN THE SURGERY BEFORE.
THE ANESTHESIA WEARS OFF!
Dr. Carlson: YES, DOCTOR. WE REALLY NEED TO BE...
Josh: OH, OK, BUT BEFORE WE.
START THE SURGERY, I MUST
SPEAK TO DR. NUSSBAUM PRIVATELY.
Josh: AH, RIGHT. YOU SEE, WE ALWAYS CHAT BEFORE I...
Josh: OK. EXCUSE US, PLEASE!
HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND!?
Drake: WHAT?! Josh: YOU'RE SERIOUSLY GONNA.
OPERATE ON A PERSON?!
Drake: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!
Josh: TELL THEM YOU'RE NOT A REAL SURGEON!
Drake: DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO?! MAN, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT.
TOLD ME I COULD GET ARRESTED FOR
PRETENDING TO BE A DOCTOR.
YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS!
Josh: OK.
ALL RIGHT. JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD.
HA HA HA! OKEY-DOKEY.
DR. NUSSBAUM IS READY FOR TO
DO THE SURGERY ON THE FOOT PERSON.
Drake: I AM? Dr. Carlson: YOU ARE.
Drake: I AM. OK...
WELL, I'll BEGIN BY MAKING A.
SMALL INCISION RIGHT HERE
BY THE TICKLE NERVE. HERE I GO.
Josh: I KISSED YOUR WIFE.
Drake: WHAT?
Josh: I KISSED YOUR WIFE.
Nurse: DOCTOR NUSSBAUM'S MARRIED?
Josh: OH, YES!
Nurse: BUT HE ASKED ME OUT!
Second nurse: HE ASKED ME OUT!
Third nurse: HE MADE OUT WITH ME!
Dr. Carlson: NUSSBAUM, YOU DOG.
IS THERE ANYTHING THIS GUY CAN'T DO?
Anesthesiologist: I WISH HE'D DO.
THIS SURGERY!
Dr. Carlson: YES, DOCTOR. WE REALLY NEED TO GET...
Drake: YOU KISSED MY WIFE?!
Josh: I CAN'T HELP IT. SHE IS SO.
PRETTY AND SWEET SMELLING.
Drake: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU,
AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER AT HARVARD?!
Josh: WELL, I AM JUST A MAN!
Drake: YEAH. A MAN WHO KISSED MY WIFE!
Dr. Carlson: DOCTOR, I REALIZE.
THIS IS AN AWKWARD MOMENT,
Drake: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, VISHI-SWOZ!
Josh: WELL, IT IS YOUR FAULT!
Drake: MY FAULT?!
Josh: YES! YOU DO NOT SATISFY HER NEEDS.
Drake: DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT MY WIFE!
Josh: OH, I WILL TELL YOU.
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR WIFE, AND
THIS IS WHAT IT IS.
Drake: YOU KNOW, I OUGHT TO PUNCH YOU, MAN!
Josh: SO, YOU PUNCH ME. I WILL PUNCH YOU BACK!
Drake: NO! HEY, DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME!
Josh: I AM WALKING AWAY!
Drake: YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY.
WIFE! I WANNA KNOW WHAT'S BEEN
GOING ON, VISHI-SWOZ!
Patient: IS MY FOOT FIXED?
Drake: HUG ME BROTHAH!
MAN, YOU WERE GREAT!
Josh: YEAH. YOU TOO, BRO!
Drake: "VISHI-SWOZ?"
Josh: IT'S A SOUP!
Drake: I MUST TRY SOME.
Josh: WE BETTER GET ALL THIS STUFF OFF.
Drake: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. HEY.
HERE. GIMME. MAN, YOU BETTER GET
OFF THAT FOOT.
Josh: YEAH. NO DOUBT.
THE LITTLE PANTS.
OK, BAD FOOT, BAD FOOT.
Drake: SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.
Josh: 1, 2, 3, GO! I'M ALL RIGHT.
Drake: LOOK, MAN, I'M REALLY.
SORRY ABOUT MAKING YOU BREAK YOUR FOOT.
Josh: I'M SORRY I KISSED YOUR WIFE.
Drake: HOW WAS SHE?
Josh: OH, EXCELLENT.
Dr. Carlson: EXCUSE ME.
Drake: OH. HI, THERE. UM...
LISTEN, I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT THAT ARGUMENT I GOT INTO
WITH MY ASSISTANT. YOU KNOW HOW
WE DOCTORS CAN BE.
Dr. Carlson: YES, YES. WELL, I.
WAS ACTUALLY JUST COMING DOWN
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT WHEN I
RAN INTO SOMEBODY ON THE ELEVATOR.
Drake: WHO'S HE?
Dr. Carlson: THIS IS DR. NUSSBAUM.
Josh: YOU MEAN HE'S AN IMPOSTER?
Dr. Carlson: IT WOULD APPEAR SO.
ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU COULD GO
TO PRISON FOR IMPERSONATING A DOCTOR?
[GLASS SHATTERING]
Josh: MAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU.
JUMPED OUT THAT WINDOW.
Drake: I CAN'T BELIEVE I BROKE MY ARM.
Josh: YEAH, BUT AT LEAST YOU.
DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT...
UHH! OK. IS IT LIKE REALLY COLD IN HERE?
Drake: YEAH. LOOK. [EXHALES]
Josh: IT MUST BE LIKE 40 DEGREES.
Megan: 31 DEGREES AND DROPPING.
Drake: ALL RIGHT, MEGAN. WHAT'D YOU DO?
Megan: I JUST MODIFIED THE AIR.
CONDITIONING IN YOUR ROOM.
YOU GUYS DID SAY YOU LIKE IT COLD, RIGHT?
Josh: YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
Drake: YEAH. WE LOVE IT COLD.
Josh: SO IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS.
GONNA UPSET US, TOO BAD!
Drake: DIDN'T WORK.
Josh: SO HA!
Drake: AND HA!
Megan: GOOD. ENJOY THE WEATHER.
BOOBS.
Josh: WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE.
FOILED HER LITTLE PLAN.
Drake: YEAH, SO SHE MADE THE.
ROOM A LITTLE COLD.
LIKE WE CARE.
Josh: WANNA WATCH SOME TV?
Drake: SURE.
Character on TV: CAPTAIN,
IT APPEARS WE'VE BEEN ATTACKED.
Josh: DUDE?
Drake: I KNOW.
Drake: AW, HERE, COME ON, MAN. LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL.
Josh: NO, NO. I'll BE FINE.
Drake: COME ON. YOU SAID IT WAS BROKEN.
Josh: OW! I'M NOT GOING TO ANY.
HOSPITAL. LOOK, I'M SURE IT'S
JUST A BRUISE.
Drake: MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT.
HAPPENED. I JUST SHOVED THE
POTATO IN HERE BUT IT WASN'T
SUPPOSED TO GO OFF UNTIL I PRESSED THE...
[THUD]
[POTATO SHOOTER FIRES]
Josh: PFFFT!
Man: MMM!
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... ]