Drake: AS FAR AS BROTHERS GO, JOSH IS OK.
Josh: I LOVE HAVING DRAKE AS A BROTHER.
Drake: BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN...
Josh: BUT OCCASIONALLY... Drake: I WANT TO HIT HIM WITH.
SOMETHING HEAVY.
Josh: BUT SOMETIMES, I JUST WANT.
TO GRAB HIS LITTLE NECK AND...
UURRGGHH! UURRGGHH! UURRGGHH!
Drake: LIKE THE TIME HE MADE.
FUDGE BROWNIES FOR ME AND
MONIQUE, THIS HOT GIRL I WAS DATING.
Josh: LIKE THE TIME I ENTERED MY.
FANCY RAT BOBO INTO THE RODENT SHOW.
Drake: MONIQUE WAS THIS FRENCH.
GIRL THAT WAS ALLERGIC TO NUTS.
Josh: BOBO WAS THIS RAT WHO I.
TRAINED TO DO ALL THESE COOL TRICKS.
Drake: ONE NIGHT, MONIQUE COMES.
OVER TO HANG OUT, AND JOSH
BRINGS US THIS BIG TRAY OF BROWNIES, RIGHT?
Josh: BUT DRAKE BOUGHT ANOTHER.
RAT THAT LOOKED LIKE BOBO AND
SWITCHED THEM AS A LITTLE JOKE.
Drake: SO ME AND MONIQUE.
SCARFED DOWN SOME OF JOSH'S BROWNIES.
Josh: SO THEN I TRIED TO SHOW.
ONE OF THE JUDGES THIS TRICK
WHERE BOBO LICKS YOUR NOSE.
Drake: AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
MONIQUE START SWEATING, AND HER
FACE SWELLS UP LIKE A WATERMELON.
Josh: AND THIS DERANGED IMPOSTER.
RAT BITES THE JUDGE ON HIS NOSE
AND WON'T LET GO.
Drake: AND SHE STARTS GOING...
[FRENCH ACCENT] "WHY, DRAKE?
WHY HAVE YOU GIVEN ME NUTS?
YOU KNOW I'M ALLERGIC TO SUCH NUTS."
Josh: AND THE JUDGE STARTS.
YELLING, "THE RAT IS BITING MY
NOSE! THE RAT IS BITING MY NOSE!"
Drake: [REGULAR VOICE] BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I LEARNED THAT NIGHT?
Josh: EVEN THOUGH DRAKE CAN.
DRIVE ME CRAZY... I LOVE THAT GUY.
Drake: SOME FRENCH GIRLS ARE.
REALLY ALLERGIC TO NUTS.
Drake: I'M HOME! ANYBODY HERE?
[DOOR CLOSES]
HELLO?
"DRAKE, PLEASE ENJOY THE LAST
PIECE OF APPLE STRUDEL. YOUR
LOVING BROTHER... JOSH."
SWEET.
MMM. STRUDELY.
Josh: DRAKE?
[DOOR CLOSES]
HEY. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE
ME A RIDE HOME FROM SCHOOL.
Drake: SORRY, MAN. I WAITED AS.
LONG AS I COULD.
Josh: HOW LONG DID YOU WAIT?
Drake: LIKE, 20, 30 SECONDS.
Josh: WELL, THANKS A LOT. I HAD.
TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME.
A WIENER DOG CHASED ME FOR 6 BLOCKS.
Drake: WHO RUNS FROM A WIENER DOG?
Josh: THE POINT IS WHEN I ASK.
YOU TO WAIT FOR ME, THE...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Drake: STANDING HERE... CHEWING ON STRUDEL.
Josh: THAT WAS MY LAST PIECE OF STRUDEL.
Drake: YEAH. YOU SAID I COULD HAVE IT.
Josh: I DID NO SUCH THING.
Drake: YEAH, YOU DID.
Josh: YOU KNOW GRAMMY SENT ME.
THAT STRUDEL FOR MY BIRTHDAY,
AND I TOLD EVERY PERSON IN THIS
HOUSE, "PAWS OFF."
Drake: YOU LEFT ME A NOTE SAYING
I COULD HAVE IT.
Josh: SHOW ME THE NOTE.
Drake: YOU WANNA SEE THE NOTE?
Josh: SHOW ME THE NOTE!
Drake: I'll SHOW YOU THE NOTE.
"PROPERTY OF JOSH. DO NOT EAT."
HA!
OH.
Josh: [MIMICKING] OH.
Megan: HEY.
ANY STRUDEL LEFT?
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE,
BUT I FOUND A WAY, I FOUND A WAY,
IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND,
SEE WHAT'S INSIDE,
IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIZE,
BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE,
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND OVER YOUR SHOULDER
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU
I'D ALWAYS BE PICKING YOU UP
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, SO JUST TURN AROUND,
OHHHHH ♪
Josh: ARE YOU COPYING MY ANSWERS?
Drake: NO. I'M JUST COMPARING.
YOUR ANSWERS WITH THE ANSWERS
I'M ABOUT TO WRITE.
Walter: HEY, A PADRES GAME.
YOU GUYS WANNA WATCH SOME BASEBALL?
Audrey: YEAH.
Megan: WHATEVER.
Audrey: YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T BEEN.
TO PADRES GAME IN YEARS.
Megan: WE SHOULD GO SOMETIME.
Josh: YEAH, FINE. YOU CAN ALL.
GO... WITHOUT ME.
Walter: OH, JOSH. COME ON.
Josh: I WILL NEVER GO TO A.
PADRES GAME AGAIN!
Walter: IT'S BEEN 8 YEARS.
Megan: SINCE WHAT?
Josh: SINCE SOME ROTTEN KID.
STARTED A FIGHT WITH ME WHEN I
WAS TRYING TO BUY A FOAM FINGER.
Walter: YOU WERE 8 YEARS OLD.
LET IT GO.
Audrey: HEY, DRAKE. DIDN'T YOU.
GET INTO A FIGHT WITH SOME BOY
AT A PADRES GAME WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
Drake: YEAH. REMEMBER THAT.
LITTLE DORKY KID FREAKED OUT
WHEN I BOUGHT THE LAST... FOAM FINGER?
Josh: IT WAS YOU.
Drake: IT WAS YOU?
Megan: WAIT. I THOUGHT YOU GUYS.
DIDN'T MEET UNTIL YOU WERE IN
THE SEVENTH GRADE.
Josh: WELL, APPARENTLY WE DID.
MEET BEFORE THEN. ONCE...
WHEN YOU STOLE MY FOAM FINGER!
Drake: I DID NOT STEAL YOUR FOAM.
FINGER, OK? I JUST HAPPENED TO
BUY THE LAST ONE. IT'S NOT MY
FAULT THEY RAN OUT.
Josh: YEAH, IT WAS YOUR FAULT,
AND I'll NEVER FORGET IT.
I WAS 8 YEARS OLD, AND I WAS AT
MY FIRST BASEBALL GAME, RIGHT?
SO ALL I WANTED WAS A FOAM
FINGER, SO I GET IN LINE, RIGHT?
THERE'S THIS KID IN FRONT OF ME.
SO I INTRODUCE MYSELF VERY NICELY... HEY.
Drake: HEY.
Josh: I'M JOSH. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
Drake: DRAKE.
Josh: I'M GONNA BUY A FOAM FINGER.
Drake: UM, COULD YOU NOT TALK TO ME?
Josh: HA HA! YOU'RE FUNNY.
WANNA BE FRIENDS?
Drake: IF I SAY YES, WILL YOU.
STOP TALKING TO ME?
Josh: UM, PARDON ME, BUT I THINK.
YOU'RE NEXT IN LINE.
Drake: YEAH, I KNOW.
HEY, GIRLS. WHY DON'T YOU CUT IN
LINE? YOU CAN ALL BUY FOAM FINGERS.
[GIRLS CHEERING AND YELLING]
Josh: BUT... HEY, NO CUTSIES!
UM, I WAS IN LINE!
Girls: WHOO!
Josh: LADIES!
Drake: GOT ANY FOAM FINGERS LEFT?
Vendor: JUST ONE.
Drake: GOOD. I'll BUY IT...
SO HE CAN'T HAVE IT!
Josh: HUH?!
Vendor: HERE YOU GO. LAST FOAM FINGER.
Drake: HA HA! I GOT THE LAST FOAM FINGER.
Josh: DADDY!
AAH!
YOU THUMPED ME!
Drake: DID NOT.
Josh: DADDY!
Drake: AARRGGHH!
[BOTH YELLING]
Vendor: COPS! COPS!
[POLICE BLOW WHISTLE]
Josh: AND THEN THE COPS HAD TO.
COME BREAK IT UP.
Drake: ALL RIGHT. WAIT A MINUTE.
I DID NOT START THAT FIGHT.
Josh: YOU DID, TOO. YOU THUMPED.
ME IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD.
Drake: NO, NO, NO. I'll TELL YOU.
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, OK?
I'M JUST STANDING IN LINE
MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, AND
THEN HE WALKS UP TO ME AND
STARTS BEING ALL OBNOXIOUS AND
YELLING AT ME.
Josh: HEY! WHAT THE HECK IS.
TAKING SO LONG?!
Drake: OH, DON'T WORRY. THE.
LINE'S MOVING PRETTY FAST.
Drake: WHO ASKED YOU?!
Vendor: NEXT IN LINE?
Josh: HE SAID, "NEXT IN LINE."
GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF YOUR EARS!
Drake: OH. SORRY.
Josh: JUST HURRY IT UP!
Girl, English accent:
PARDON ME, SIR. I HAVE ONLY 3
WEEKS TO LIVE. MAY I PLEASE CUT
IN FRONT OF YOU? EVERY MINUTE COUNTS.
Josh: AW! FOR THE LOVE OF CRUD!
Drake: SURE. GO RIGHT AHEAD.
Girl: YOU'RE VERY KIND.
Drake: ONE FOAM FINGER, PLEASE.
Vendor: OK. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
GOT THE LAST ONE.
Josh: THE LAST ONE?!
Drake: I'M SORRY.
Josh: YOU'RE DEAD, PUNK.
AARRGGHH!
Vendor: COPS! COPS!
[POLICE BLOW WHISTLE]
Josh: AARRGGHH!
Drake: SO IT WAS JOSH WHO.
STARTED THE FIGHT.
Josh: THAT IS SO NOT HOW IT HAPPENED.
Audrey: OH, THAT POOR LITTLE GIRL.
Josh: THERE'S NO "POOR LITTLE."
"GIRL." WHY WOULD A DYING BRITISH
ORPHAN BE AT A PADRES GAME?
Drake: ORPHANS LOVE BASEBALL.
Megan: HOW COME THE CONCESSIONS.
STAND GUY HAD A PATCH OVER HIS EYE?
Drake: I DON'T KNOW!
Josh: ADMIT YOU MADE THAT WHOLE STORY UP.
Drake: NO.
Josh: YOU STARTED THAT FIGHT!
Drake: YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?
Josh: I AIN'T CALLING YOU A TRUTHER.
Walter: ALL RIGHT, BOYS...
Drake: YOU RUINED MY FIRST BASEBALL GAME.
Drake: OH, POOR LITTLE JOSH.
DIDN'T GET HIS FOAM FINGER.
Audrey: THAT'S ENOUGH, DRAKE.
Walter: STOP IT, JOSH.
Josh: YOU WANT A MOUTHFUL OF FIST?!
Drake: YOU WANT A BUTTFUL OF FOOT?!
Josh: BRING IT, PARKER! Drake: YOU BRING IT!
Josh: YOU BRING IT!
Megan: COME ON! BOOB FIGHT!
Drake: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT.
GONNA FIGHT YOU. I GOT A BETTER IDEA.
Audrey: DRAKE! Josh: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "BETTER."
"IDEA?" I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!
Josh: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Drake: JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT.
WANT TO SEE SOMETHING. Josh: NO! ALL RIGHT, THERE IS.
NOTHING THAT YOU CAN SHOW ME
RIGHT NOW THAT WOULD EVER MAKE
ME FORGIVE YOU... [GASPS]
Drake: YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
Josh: THE FOAM FINGER.
Drake: THE LAST FOAM FINGER FROM.
THAT PADRES GAME 8 YEARS AGO.
Josh: YOU KEPT IT ALL THESE YEARS?
Drake: SURE DID...'CAUSE I LOVE.
IT! YOU SEE, I FORGOT HOW MUCH I
LOVE IT, BUT SINCE YOU REMINDED
ME, I'M READY TO START... LOVING IT AGAIN.
Josh: THAT FINGER SHOULD BELONG TO ME.
Drake: YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN'T.
HAVE IT. YOU KNOW WHY?
Josh: WHY?
Drake: 'CAUSE I'M NUMBER ONE!
Josh: AARRGGHH!
HA!
Drake: YOU CROSSED THE LINE.
Josh: YOU CROSSED THE LINE 8 YEARS AGO.
Drake: GET OUT!
Josh: NO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Drake: LATER!
Josh: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Drake: I'M MOVING OUT!
Josh: AAH!
[CANS CLANKING ON FLOOR]
WHAT THE... Drake: CAN I HELP YOU?
Josh: WHAT'S UP WITH THE CANS?
Drake: JUST A LITTLE BURGLAR.
ALARM I INVENTED.
SO NO ONE CAN SNEAK UP ON ME
WHILE I'M SLEEPING IN MY ROOM.
Josh: YOUR ROOM?
Drake: THAT'S RIGHT... SINCE MY.
OLD ROOM IS INHABITED BY AN IMMATURE BEAST.
Josh: THIS IS NOT YOUR ROOM.
Drake: YEAH? THEN WHY IS MY BED.
IN HERE, WHY IS MY GUITAR IN
HERE, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?
Josh: BECAUSE THIS IS THE LIVING.
ROOM, AND, UH... YEAH! LIVING!
Drake: MAYBE, BUT NOT FOR LONG.
Josh: OK! YOU WANNA TUSSLE?!
Drake: TUSSLE?
Audrey: WHAT IS GOING ON NOW?
Drake: JOSH CAME INTO MY ROOM,
AND HE'S MAKING NOISES WITH CANS.
Walter: YOUR ROOM?
Josh: HA!
Audrey: JOSH, YOU GO TO BED,
AND DRAKE, YOU CLEAN THAT STUFF
UP AND GET BACK UP TO YOUR ROOM.
Drake: NOT TILL HE APOLOGIZES.
Josh: WHY DON'T YOU APOLOGIZE.
FOR RUINING MY CHILDHOOD?
Walter: OK, YOU WANNA ACT LIKE.
CHILDREN? FINE! JOSH, GO TO BED!
DRAKE, YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO STAY
IN THIS LIVING ROOM.
Drake: OH, MAN!
Audrey: COME ON, WALTER. LET'S GO BACK TO BED.
Walter: ALL RIGHT.
Audrey: OH!
Walter: AAH!
Drake: HEY.
Walter: CAN'T SLEEP IN THE BATHROOM EITHER.
[DRAKE SNORING]
[WATCH BEEPS]
Recording: LAMP ON.
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
HEY.
DRAKE!
[DRAKE CONTINUES SNORING]
[WATCH BEEPS]
Recording: STEREO ON.
[LOUD SNORING]
Drake: AAH!
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
Megan: GET OUT OF HERE.
Drake: COME ON, I'VE GOT NOWHERE.
ELSE TO SLEEP.
Megan: GO SLEEP IN THE ATTIC.
Drake: NO WAY. THERE'S MONSTERS UP THERE.
Megan: DRAKE.
Drake: LOOK, I'M SLEEPING IN.
HERE TONIGHT. IF YOU HAVE TO
TORTURE ME OR REMOVE MY INTERNAL
ORGANS, GO AHEAD. I DON'T CARE.
GOOD NIGHT.
Megan: FINE. WHATEVER.
[DRAKE SNORING]
Drake: WAS THERE MORE CORNBREAD?
Walter: YES. 3 PIECES LEFT.
JOSH, WOULD YOU PASS THE
CORNBREAD TO DRAKE, PLEASE?
Josh: NOPE.
Audrey: SO, HOW WAS SCHOOL?
Drake: YOU'RE THE WORST.
Josh: YOU SICKEN ME.
Audrey: I SEE.
Megan: UH... ANYBODY WANT MORE CHICKEN?
Josh: I HOPE YOU GO BALD.
Drake: I HOPE THEY CANCEL OPRAH.
Josh: TAKE THAT BACK.
Walter: ALL RIGHT, DINNER IS OVER.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Audrey: NOW, WHO'S THAT?
Megan: I INVITED SOMEONE OVER.
Walter: NOW, HOW MUCH LONGER ARE.
YOU TWO GONNA FIGHT OVER A DUMB
FOAM FINGER?
Drake: UNTIL HE ADMITS HE STARTED THE FIGHT.
Josh: YOU THUMPED ME IN THE BACK.
OF MY 8-YEAR-OLD HEAD.
Drake: I DID NOT.
Lenny: HI, I'M LENNY SPODNICK.
I THINK WE TALKED ON THE PHONE.
Megan: YEAH. I'M MEGAN.
COME ON IN.
Lenny: NICE PLACE. LOOKS EXPENSIVE.
Walter: UH, HELLO.
Audrey: HI.
Lenny: HEY. IS THAT CORNBREAD?
Josh: UH-HUH.
Audrey: MEGAN, WHO'S YOUR LITTLE FRIEND?
Megan: HIS NAME IS LENNY SPODNICK. OR YOU MAY KNOW HIM.
BETTER AS THE GUY WHO SELLS
FOAM FINGERS AT THE PADRES'
GAMES.
Lenny: USED TO SELL FOAM.
FINGERS. I GOT PROMOTED TO BOBBLE HEADS.
Josh: WHOA...
Drake: YOU'RE THE GUY FROM THE.
CONCESSION STAND.
Josh: THE FOAM FINGER GUY.
Lenny: BUT NOW IT'S BOBBLE HEADS.
Audrey: SO, WAIT. THIS IS THE.
MAN WHO SOLD YOU THE FOAM FINGER
8 YEARS AGO?
Megan: YEP.
Walter: HOW DID YOU FIND HIM?
Megan: I CALLED THE STADIUM AND ASKED IF I COULD SPEAK TO THE.
GUY WITH THE EYE PATCH.
WASN'T HARD.
Lenny: SAME WAY MY EX-WIFE'S.
LAWYER FOUND ME.
Walter: NOT TO BE RUDE, LENNY,
BUT, UH, WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE?
Megan: 'CAUSE DRAKE SAYS JOSH.
STARTED THE FIGHT. AND JOSH SAYS
DRAKE STARTED THE FIGHT. AND I'M
SICK OF DRAKE SNORING UP MY
ROOM. SO, HERE'S AN EYEWITNESS.
NO OFFENSE.
Audrey: MEGAN, THAT'S VERY.
RESOURCEFUL OF YOU, BUT I DOUBT
IF THIS GENTLEMAN'S GONNA
REMEMBER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED
8 YEARS AGO.
Lenny: OH, I REMEMBER THESE.
BOYS. NOT TOO OFTEN YOU HAVE TO
CALL THE COPS ON 28-YEAR-OLDS.
Josh: OK. WELL, THEN WOULD YOU.
PLEASE TELL EVERYONE THAT HE IS
THE ONE THAT THUMPED ME ON THE
BACK OF MY HEAD AND THAT'S WHAT
STARTED THE FIGHT? Drake: NO. YOU CAN TELL EVERYONE.
HERE THAT HE JUST ATTACKED ME
FOR NO REASON.
Walter: COULD YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED?
Lenny: I'D BE HAPPY TO.
LET ME SEE, UM...
THE PADRES WERE PLAYING AGAINST
THE GIANTS. AND I WAS SELLING
FOAM FINGERS. IT WAS LATE IN THE
AFTERNOON. THESE 2 BOYS GET IN
LINE AT THE CONCESSION STAND.
Audrey: OK, DRAKE. HERE'S SOME.
MONEY. YOU GO GET YOURSELF A SOUVENIR.
Drake: THANKS, MOM.
Audrey: MEGAN, ARE YOU HUNGRY?
Megan: YEAH.
Audrey: YES. YOU CAN HAVE A.
COOKIE. TAKE THE COOKIE.
Josh: HEY. Drake: HEY.
Josh: I'M JOSH. Drake: DRAKE.
Josh: I'M GONNA BUY A FOAM FINGER.
Drake: ME, TOO. Josh: COOL.
Lenny: NEXT IN LINE.
Josh: HEY, YOU'RE UP.
Girl: HI. IS IT OK IF WE CUT IN.
FRONT OF YOU?
Drake: COOL WITH ME. COOL WITH YOU?
Josh: SURE.
Drake: GO AHEAD.
Josh: YOU KNOW, MY DAD'S A WEATHERMAN.
Drake: WOW. MY MOM LOVES WEATHERMEN.
Girl: THANKS. BYE.
Drake: ONE FOAM FINGER, PLEASE.
Lenny: OK. LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT THE LAST ONE.
Josh: AW, THAT'S THE LAST FOAM FINGER?
Drake: I'M REALLY SORRY.
Josh: DADDY.
Josh: OWW!
YOU THUMPED ME.
Drake: NO, I DIDN'T.
Josh: YAAA!
Drake: YAAA!
Lenny: COPS! COPS!
Josh: SO, IT WAS MEGAN WHO.
STARTED THE FIGHT.
Lenny: THAT'S RIGHT. SHE THREW THE COOKIE.
Megan: WOW. I WAS EVEN COOL THEN.
Drake: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
Audrey: MR. SPODNICK, WE REALLY.
APPRECIATE YOU CLEARING THIS UP FOR US.
Lenny: OH, I'M JUST HAPPY I.
COULD HELP OUT. OH, UM, THE GIRL
DID MENTION $100.
Walter: $100?
Megan: OH, JUST PAY HIM.
Lenny: THANKS. MY EX-WIFE AIN'T.
GETTING HER PAWS ON THIS.
WELL, I BETTER GET GOING.
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
I GOT YOU A BOBBLE HEAD.
LIVE IT UP.
Audrey: THAT WAS SO NICE OF HIM TO DO THAT.
Walter: NO! HE TOOK $100 FROM ME.
Drake: YEAH, BUT I GET A FREE BOBBLE HEAD.
Josh: HEY, MAYBE I WANT THE BOBBLE HEAD.
Drake: I GET THE BOBBLE HEAD.
Josh: YOU GOT THE FOAM FINGER.
Drake: YOU RUINED THE FOAM FINGER.
Josh: I WANT THE BOBBLE HEAD. THIS IS SO UNFAIR. YOU ALWAYS...
[CONTINUES INDISTINCT]
Megan: WHO WANTS CORNBREAD?
Audrey: ME. Walter: I DO.
Josh: SO, JOSH NICHOLS, TELL US.
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE THE FIRST
ASTRONAUT TO SET FOOT ON JUPITER!
WELL, OPRAH, JUPITER'S COOL, BUT
I MUCH PREFER BEING HERE ON YOUR SHOW.
OH, COMMANDER JOSH, YOU ARE SO HANDSOME.
Drake: HEY, JOSH.
Josh: WHAT UP, DRAKE?
Drake: IS IT COOL IF I MOVE BACK IN?
Josh: OH, GET IN HERE.
Drake: LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY.
Josh: DON'T EVEN SAY IT.
WE BOTH ACTED KINDA STUPID.
Drake: YEAH. HEY, I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
Josh: A FOAM FINGER?
Drake: YEAH.
Josh: HOW'D YOU FIX IT?
Drake: OH, YOU KNOW.
HOT GLUE GUN.
Josh: DRAKE PARKER, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?
Drake: WHAT'S THAT?
Josh: NUMBER ONE.
Drake: COOL.
Josh: OH, UH, AND LOOK.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BOBBLE HEAD.
Drake: AW, THANKS, MAN.
Josh: CAN YOU BELIEVE US?
I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING THIS
WHOLE WEEK WHAT WE WERE FIGHTING
WHEN WE WERE 8 YEARS OLD.
Drake: YEAH. I WONDER WHAT IT'S.
GONNA BE LIKE WHEN WE'RE 80.
Josh: YEAH.
Josh: I AM STARVING.
STARVING.
Drake: YEAH. WHERE'S MEGAN WITH OUR DINNER?
Both: MEGAN!
Megan: I'M COMING. I'M COMING.
DRAKE, HERE'S YOUR OATMEAL.
JOSH, HERE'S YOUR CREAM OF WHEAT.
BOOBS.
Josh: WAIT. WAIT, WAIT. I WANTED.
THE OATMEAL.
Drake: NO. YOU ASKED FOR THE CREAM OF WHEAT.
Josh: YOU GIVE ME THAT OATMEAL.
Drake: OVER MY DEAD BODY.
Josh: FINE. I COULD WAIT 5 MINUTES.
Drake: THAT'S IT. I'M EATING ON.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM.
Josh: SO, WHO NEEDS YA?
UHH!
YOU DO SOMETHING TO ME!
Drake: THAT'S A LIE.
Josh: IT IS ON.
Drake: OH, IT'S ON.
Josh: IT'S GO TIME.
Drake: I'll SHOW YOU GO TIME.
Josh: I AM COMING AT YOU FAST AS LIGHTNING.
[GRUNTS]
[SNORING]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www. Ncicap.org... ]
Josh: DRAKE?
DRAKE, YOU AWAKE?
OH, OPRAH.
OH, COMMANDER NICHOLS.
IT COULD HAPPEN.
Voice: MM...