ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE KNOWS
THAT JOSH CAN BE ANNOYING.
IT'S NO SECRET THAT DRAKE CAN
CAUSE ME EXTREME AGGRAVATION.
BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO
CONSTANTLY DRIVES ME INSANE?
BUT YOU KNOW WHO REALLY GETS
MY BLOOD PRESSURE UP INTO THE DANGER ZONE?
SHE'S 11.
SHE'S A GIRL.
SHE'S EVIL.
SHE'S A DEMON!
SHE'S MY LITTLE SISTER.
Both: MEGAN.
LAST MONTH, SHE PUT KITTY
LITTER IN MY SNEAKERS.
DID YOU KNOW SHE SIGNED ME UP
FOR THE MEXICAN ARMY?
AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE TIME
SHE DYED ALL MY UNDERWEAR PINK.
SHE GAVE MY CELL PHONE NUMBER
TO 3 HOBOS.
I DO NOT LOOK GOOD IN PINK PANTIES.
NOW, EVERY OTHER TIME MY
PHONE RINGS, IT'S A HOBO.
ONE DAY... OH OH! ONE DAY, BABY!
ONE DAY SHE'S GONNA PUSH ME TOO FAR.
REVENGE. REVENGE!
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
HELLO?
CAN I COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE?
NO! LEAVE ME ALONE, HOBO! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
3 TIMES THE SQUARE ROOT... MINUS X.
MINUS X. [TURNS ON STEREO]
HEY.
HEY!
OH, HEY. WANT SOME SANDWICH?
NO! I'M TRYING TO DO MY
HOMEWORK. COULD YOU TURN THAT OFF?
OFF? [TURNS STEREO OFF]
♪ OH, CRANKY JOSH,
HE'S GETTIN' SO CRANKY, SO VERY CRANKY,
OH, NOW HE'S BREAKING THINGS,
WRITIN' TO THE PENCIL REPAIR MAN... ♪
DUDE! WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE
IMPROVISATIONAL BLUES TUNE?
SHOULDN'T YOU BE DOING THIS HOMEWORK, TOO?
MY HOMEWORK'S ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF.
[PLAYS BLUES RIFF]
"PLEASE EXCUSE DRAKE FROM
DOING HIS HOMEWORK. HE TWISTED
HIS LIVER AND IS UNABLE TO READ,
WRITE, OR BATHE. YOURS TRULY, THE DOCTOR."
WROTE IT MYSELF.
SHOULDN'T THE DOCTOR HAVE A NAME?
AH, YES. HERE, GIVE ME THAT.
UH, LET'S SEE... BOB, THE DOCTOR.
YEAH?
OH, YEAH, YEAH. NOW IT'S PERFECT.
COOL.
[PLAYS GUITAR]
HEY, DRAKE, HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAPTOP?
YEAH, I THINK MEGAN'S USING
IT IN THE BACKYARD.
WHAT? HOW MANY TIMES DO I
HAVE TO TELL HER NOT TO TOUCH MY
ITEMS? I AM GONNA FIX HER WAGON!
SHE DOESN'T HAVE A WAGON.
IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH.
♪ WELL, OL' CRANKY JOSH
IS FIXIN' MEGAN'S WAGON, BUT NOT LITERALLY ♪
BUT NOT LITERALLY ♪ [PLAYS CHORD]
♪ WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE, BUT I FOUND A WAY,
I FOUND A WAY, IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND,
IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIZE,
BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND, OVER YOUR SHOULDER,
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU
I'll ALWAYS BE PICKING YOU UP.
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, SO JUST TURN AROUND,
OOH-OOH-OOH, OOOOOOOH ♪
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
STUDYING ASTRONOMY.
AH, THE STUDY OF STARS AND PLANETS.
YES. IT'S EXCITING TO KNOW
THINGS. NOW GIVE ME MY LAPTOP BACK.
NO, I NEED IT!
FOR WHAT?
MOM JUST BOUGHT ME THIS REALLY COOL TELESCOPE THAT YOU
CAN HOOK UP TO A COMPUTER. HERE,
CHECK THIS OUT. I JUST TYPE IN
THE NAME OF ANY PLANET OR
CONSTELLATION I WANT TO SEE,
AND THEN THE COMPUTER TELLS THE
TELESCOPE WHERE TO POINT. LOOK.
AND YOU CAN SEE THE IMAGE RIGHT
ON THE SCREEN. HOW COOL IS THAT?
WHY CAN'T YOU USE YOUR LAPTOP?
'CAUSE I'M NOT BRINGING MY
LAPTOP OUTSIDE. IT COULD GET WET
OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, SHE'S GOT A POINT.
SHE'S GOT NO POINT.
CALM DOWN. SO SHE'S USING
YOUR LAPTOP. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
THANK YOU.
HEY! HEY! WHAT'S THAT UNDER
YOUR TELESCOPE?
WHAT?
IS THAT MY NEW LEATHER JACKET?
MAYBE.
MEGAN!
WELL, I'M NOT PUTTING MY
BRAND-NEW TELESCOPE ON THE GRASS.
SHE'S GOT A POINT.
SHE'S GOT NO POINT. I WANT MY
JACKET BACK.
YEAH, AND I WANT MY LAPTOP.
OK, FINE. JUST ONE SEC.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
AAH!
[DOG BARKS]
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, I WAS JUST OUT HERE
TRYING TO LEARN ABOUT SPACE,
AND DRAKE AND JOSH PUSHED ME DOWN.
WHAT?
WE DIDN'T PUSH HER DOWN.
OH, RIGHT. I JUST DECIDED
TO LIE DOWN IN THE GRASS AND SCREAM.
YES! THAT'S EXACTLY...
BOYS! STOP TAUNTING YOUR
LITTLE SISTER AND GO UPSTAIRS.
DAD, WE DIDN'T... GO UPSTAIRS!
CAN YOU BELIEVE HER? SHE
AGGRAVATES ME IN SO MANY WAYS. HO HO, I AM WHIPPED UP, MAN!
WE HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT HER.
ABOUT HER. LIKE WHAT?
OK, I'VE GOT IT.
WE FREEZE HER. THEN WE THAW HER
OUT LIKE 300 YEARS IN THE
FUTURE. OH, MAN, SHE WILL BE
SO FREAKED OUT.
OK, LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN.
FREEZE HER.
YOU DIDN'T REALLY WRITE THAT DOWN.
NO!
WELL, FINE. YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER?
YEAH. OK, MEGAN'S REALLY INTO
HER TELESCOPE, RIGHT?
YEAH.
WHAT IF SHE SAW SOMETHING
IN HER TELESCOPE THAT TOTALLY
FREAKED HER OUT?
OH, DAD'S BUTT?
FREAKIER.
WOW. YEAH.
YEAH. HEY, SWEETIE.
LISTEN, TAKE A BREAK AND GO HELP
YOUR DAD WITH THE DISHES.
BUT WHAT IF HE TALKS TO ME?
HEY, I PUT UP WITH IT. YOU CAN, TOO.
WHAA!
ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME THE DVD.
HERE.
[GROANS]
YOU PUT MY COPY OF ALIEN
ATTACK 2DOWN YOUR PANTS?
SO?
IT'S SO WARM.
JUST HURRY.
NOW, WHEN THE DVD LOADS, I'll.
TAKE A STILL FRAME OF THE SPACE
SHUTTLE USING PHOTODOC. THEN
WITH THE CROPPING TOOL... PLEASE
DON'T BREATH IN MY EAR. SORRY.
YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE HATE
DOING THE DISHES, BUT I THINK
IT'S KIND OF FUN. DON'T YOU
THINK IT'S KIND OF FUN? YES. THIS IS KIND OF FUN.
SO WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART,
THE SCRUBBING, THE DRYING, OR THE STACKING?
WELL, THEY'RE ALL JUST SO
MUCH FUN, IT'S HARD TO PICK.
I KNOW. HEY, AREN'T WE HAVING
TOO MUCH FUN TOGETHER?
[FORCED LAUGH] OH, WALTER.
YOU SURE THIS IS GOING TO WORK?
YEAH, SEE? I JUST CUT AROUND
THE IMAGE OF THE SPACESHIP FROM
THE MOVIE, THEN I DRAG THE
PICTURE OF THE SPACESHIP INTO
THE WINDOW OF MEGAN'S TELESCOPE
IMAGE, AND BAM, WE GOT ALIENS.
Walter: WAIT! YOU WANNA HELP ME VACUUM?
Megan: NO, THANKS, WALTER.
MEGAN'S COMING. COME ON,
HIDE! HURRY! COME ON! COME ON! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
OH, HERE! COME ON, THE CANS.
GOOD IDEA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THERE'S A
CAN RIGHT THERE.
I DON'T WANT TO GET IN THERE ALONE.
ALONE. OH, JUST GET IN THE CANS.
OH, JUST GET IN THE CANS. OW!
OK, NOW LET'S SEE WHAT'S GOING ON UP IN THE SKY.
OK, LET'S SEE WHAT... NO WAY! A SPACESHIP?
IT IS A SPACESHIP.
MOM! DAD! I SEE A SPACESHIP!
I SEE A SPACESHIP! MOM! DAD!
IT'S A SPACESHIP!
DID YOU HEAR THAT? SHE
TOTALLY BOUGHT IT.
I SEE A SPACESHIP!
I SEE A SPACESHIP.
OH, MAN, WE FINALLY GOT MEGAN.
DAD, I SWEAR.
I SAW AN ALIEN SHIP.
YEAH, SURE YOU DID.
OH. DAD'S COMING.
BACK INSIDE.
SPACESHIP.
I BOUGHT HER A TELESCOPE, SHE SEES SPACESHIPS.
SHE SEES SPACESHIPS. SPACESHIPS.
[STATIC WHINING]
SO WHAT YOU DOING THERE?
WELL, IF I TELL YOU
SOMETHING, YOU PROMISE TO KEEP IT A SECRET?
SURE.
ABSOLUTELY.
OK, LAST NIGHT I SAW... I SAW A U.F.O.
NO WAY.
REALLY?
I SWEAR.
IT WAS AN ALIEN SPACESHIP.
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
WELL, THAT IS INCREDIBLE.
ASTONISHING.
SO WHAT'S UP WITH THE CRAZY RADIO?
I'M TRYING TO SEE IF I CAN PICK UP ANY ALIEN
TRANSMISSIONS. IF THEY'RE CLOSE
ENOUGH THAT I CAN SEE 'EM, I
SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR 'EM, TOO. OK. YOU BE CAREFUL NOW.
OH, MAN, THIS IS AWESOME.
PRICELESS. SHE TOTALLY
BELIEVES SHE SAW REAL SPACESHIPS.
OH, YEAH. THIS SO BEATS ANY PRANK SHE
EVER PULLED ON US. MAN, JUST
LOOK AT HER SITTING THERE TRYING
TO PICK UP ALIEN TRANSMISSIONS.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HELP HER OUT?
HELP HER OUT HOW?
CRAIG AND ERIC ARE IN THE HAM
RADIO CLUB AT SCHOOL. AREN'T THEY JEWISH?
HAM RADIOS. WE CAN BORROW A
TRANSMITTER AND HAVE SOME FUN.
OH, WE COULD. AND WE SHOULD.
COME ON.
OK. HEY, WHY WOULD THEY NAME
A RADIO AFTER HAM?
I DON'T KNOW.
I LIKE HAM. WHO DOESN'T?
COME ON, ALIENS. WHERE ARE YOU?
HEY. SHE OUT THERE?
YEP. SHE KEEPS LOOKING UP
AT THE SKY, WONDERING WHERE THE ALIENS ARE.
PERFECT. ALL RIGHT, COME
HERE. NOW, THIS IS THE HAM RADIO.
HAM RADIO.
NOW, WE JUST TALK INTO THIS
MIKE AND SOUND LIKE ALIENS.
OH, COOL. GIVE ME IT.
BONJOUR. SI'L VOUS PLAIT. OUI, OUI, MERCI.
OUI, OUI, MERCI.
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE
WE'RE FROM OUTER SPACE, NOT PARIS!
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A WAY TO CORRECT PEOPLE NICELY.
ZIFF. ZIFF.
COME ON. DO IT WITH ME.
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
OH, MY GOD.
GUIG.
HE SAID "GUIG."
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
WOW. WOW. OH, WOW.
ALIENS! I HEARD ALIENS!
ALIENS! ALIENS!
ALIENS! I JUST HEARD ALIENS!
I HEARD ALIENS! ALIENS ON MY
RADIO! I HEARD ALIENS! ALIENS! ALIENS!
HOW'S IT COMING?
DON'T PRESSURE ME.
I'll GET PIMPLES.
HI.
HEY. WHAT TIME DOES MEGAN GET
HOME FROM OBOE PRACTICE?
A FEW MINUTES. WHY?
'CAUSE I HAD CRAIG HOOK UP
ALL THE ELECTRICAL STUFF IN THE
KITCHEN TO A REMOTE CONTROL.
FOR WHAT? WELL, YOU SEE, SHE WAS
WATCHING A SHOW LAST NIGHT ABOUT
ALIENS THAT SAID IF THEY EVER
GOT CLOSE TO EARTH, THEIR
SPACECRAFTS WOULD MESS UP ALL
KINDS OF ELECTRICAL FIELDS.
OK. I'M DONE.
HERE'S THE REMOTE.
AWESOME.
WELL, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE
GETTING ON HOME, HUH?
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I FEEL
YOU JUST USE ME.
OH, COME ON, CRAIG, YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
I'M ERIC.
[DOOR SHUTS]
MEGAN JUST GOT DROPPED OFF.
AWESOME.
WELL, YOU KNOW THE WAY OUT.
OK, WHEN MEGAN COMES IN, FOLLOW MY LEAD.
HELLO!
I DON'T KNOW, JOSH. MAYBE WE
SHOULD CALL AN ELECTRICIAN.
CALL AN ELECTRICIAN FOR WHAT?
OH. WELL, IT'S WEIRD, BUT ALL DAY LONG...
DAY LONG... >> WHOA! WHAT IS UP WITH THE
BLENDER?
I DON'T KNOW. OH. THERE GOES
THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
WELL, THAT IS DOWNRIGHT ODD.
YEAH. WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE
ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS?
IT'S THE ALIENS.
WHAT?
NO.
YES. THEIR SPACECRAFTS MAKE
ELECTRICAL STUFF ACT ALL CRAZY.
MEGS, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ALIENS.
THERE ARE, TOO. I SAW THEM.
AND I HEARD THEM. AND NOW
THEY'RE COMING. THE ALIENS ARE
COMING! ALIENS! ALIENS!
DO YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO PLAY
CARDS TONIGHT? I DON'T WANNA
STAY HOME BY MYSELF.
WHAT ABOUT DRAKE AND JOSH?
SORRY.
YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO A CONCERT.
MOM.
OH, BABY, YOU'LL BE FINE.
YOU STAYED BY YOURSELF LOTS OF
TIMES BEFORE.
YEAH, AND YOU BABY-SIT THAT
LITTLE BOY ACROSS THE STREET.
YES. HE'S NOT AN ALIEN WHO'S
GOING TO EAT MY FACE.
MEGAN, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ALIENS.
AND IF THERE WERE, THEY
WOULDN'T JUST EAT YOUR FACE.
THEY'D EAT ALL OF YOU.
WELL, WHY WOULD THEY STOP AT THE FACE?
CAN WE JUST GO?
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. WE'LL
SEE YOU LATER, OK? HAVE A GOOD TIME, GUYS.
BE CAREFUL.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WE'RE GOING TO THAT CONCERT.
LATER, MEGS.
FINE.
LEAVE ME BY MYSELF. BUT WHEN THE
ALIENS HAVE ME AS AN HORS
D'OEUVRE, YOU'LL FEEL REALLY BAD.
WOW. MEGAN'S REALLY SCARED AND UPSET.
YEAH, I KNOW.
HIGH FIVE.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
COME ON. I'M COMING. AHHH!
OK, I'M IN. DENISE, COME ON.
HURRY.
DON'T RUSH ME. I'M COMING.
YOU SURE THIS LADY CAN MAKE
US LOOK LIKE REAL ALIENS, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH, TOTALLY. SHE DID
ALL THE SPECIAL EFFECTS MAKEUP
ON GHOST MONSTERS.
WHERE DID YOU FIND HER?
SHE'S MINDY'S 3rd COUSIN.
WELL, SHE BETTER BE GOOD
FOR WHAT WE'RE PAYING HER.
YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME ENOUGH
TO BE CLIMBING UP THE SIDE OF
YOUR HOUSE AND IN THROUGH YOUR
WINDOW. AH, I THINK A SPIDER
CRAWLED IN MY BRA. OH! OH!
OOH!
DON'T TOUCH... DON'T TOUCH MY PERSON!
ARE YOU OK?
YES. IT'S THE CLIMBING MADE
ME SWEATY. OH! I NEED A BUBBLE BATH.
LOOK, JUST TURN US INTO
ALIENS AND YOU CAN TAKE A BATH LATER.
OK, PUSHY. LET ME SEE YOUR FACES.
OH! YOUR SKIN IS FLAWLESS.
LEAVE IT TO MINDY TO FIND
HERSELF A FINE BOYFRIEND LIKE YOU.
ACTUALLY, I'M MINDY'S BOYFRIEND.
BOYFRIEND. OH.
OH. YEAH. YOU NEED WORK.
[WHIRRING]
HELLO.
HELLO!
WHO'S OUT THERE?
HELLO.
AHH-AHH-GRU-MAN.
WHO SAID THAT?
[BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
LEAVE ME ALONE.
YOU BETTER NOT EAT MY FACE.
AGGGHHH!
STAY AWAY.
[BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
AAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1... 2... 3.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
DANCE. ♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA GOTCHA!
WHAT?
DRAKE. JOSH.
THAT'S RIGHT, LITTLE GIRL.
FINALLY, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
WE GOT YOU GOOD.
YEAH, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE
ON THE OTHER END OF THE PRANK, HUH?
HA-HA!
OK. THAT WAS THE MEANEST THING EVER.
GOOD. MAYBE IT'LL TEACH YOU A
LITTLE LESSON.
YEAH, I BET NEXT TIME YOU'LL
THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU TRY...
[DISTORTED VOICES]
WHAT IS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON. JOKE'S
OVER. JUST STOP IT.
IT ISN'T US.
I'M SERIOUS. THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.
DRAKE, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW.
[DISTORTED VOICES]
[SWOOSHING]
WHAT WAS THAT?
GRRRR!
GRRRR! AAH! AAH!
[MEGAN SCREAMING]
1, 2, 3.
AAH!
AAHH!
<< AAHHH!
AAH!
NICE JOB, DANNY.
SURE THING, MEGAN.
THOSE BOOBS WON'T STOP
RUNNING TILL THEY HIT MEXICO.
YEAH. HEY, CAN YOU MAKE ME SOME COFFEE?
SOME COFFEE? SURE.
COFFEE'S READY.
AWESOME.
HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? BLACK'S FINE.
COOL.
Mom: HI.
Dad: WE'RE HOME. MEGAN?
IN THE KITCHEN.
HEY, SWEETIE.
YOU'RE MAKING COFFEE?
NOT FOR ME.
IT'S FOR A FRIEND. WHAT FRIEND?
WHAT'S UP?
AAH! AHHHHH!
♪ WELL, MY BROTHER JOSH
HE'S DOING HIS HOMEWORK THE KIND OF WORK
THAT YOU DO AT HOME
WHICH IS WHY THEY CALL IT HOMEWORK ♪
CAN YOU PLEASE CUT THAT OUT? ♪ WORKING AT HOME
SHALL WE GO DOWNSTAIRS AND
TELL HER THIS WHOLE ALIEN THING
WAS A BIG JOKE?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO. ALL RIGHT? THIS
WHOLE ALIEN THING HAS JUST BEGUN.
Both: HA HA HA HA!
I DON'T GET IT.
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... ]