OK. WOMEN... SOMETIMES CAN BE TRICKY.
SOMETIMES CAN BE TRICKY. GIRLS ARE SO EASY
TO FIGURE OUT.
LIKE, WHEN I WAS IN THE FOURTH GRADE, THIS GIRL NAMED BECKY HUMMUS SAID SHE HAD A
FOURTH GRADE, THIS GIRL NAMED BECKY HUMMUS SAID
SHE HAD A BECKY HUMMUS SAID SHE HAD A CRUSH ON ME.
LIKE LAST YEAR, THIS GIRL,
ALISON FLETCHER, ASKED ME
OUT. OUT. BUT BECKY DIDN'T REALLY LIKE
ME.
ME. BUT ALISON WASN'T REALLY
INTO ME.
INTO ME. SHE JUST KNEW THAT EVERY DAY
IN MY SACK LUNCH I BROUGHT
DOODLE CAKES.
DOODLE CAKES. SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE
HER EX-BOYFRIEND JEALOUS.
I WAS BEING USED.
I WAS BEING USED.
THAT SEMESTER, SHE ATE ALMOST EVERY DOODLE CAKE I BROUGHT TO SCHOOL.
SCHOOL. THEN SHE GOT BACK TOGETHER
THEN SHE GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HER EX-BOYFRIEND.
BY THE END OF FOURTH GRADE,
SHE WEIGHED OVER 200 POUNDS.
I KIND OF MISSED ALISON, SO I STARTED MAKING OUT WITH HER SISTER.
SISTER. AND NOW, BECKY HUMMUS WEARS
GIGANTIC PANTS.
GIGANTIC PANTS. I THINK HER SISTER KISSES
EVEN BETTER.
EVEN BETTER. YOU KNOW, THEY MAKE FAT FREE
DOODLE CAKES NOW.
I WONDER IF THEY HAVE A THIRD
SISTER?
SISTER? BUT IT'S TOO LATE FOR BECKY.
OK, SO I THINK WE SHOULD SET THE TRANSFORMER
TO 125 VOLTS. YEAH, I DON'T THINK WE'RE
THE TRANSFORMER TO 125 VOLTS. YEAH, I DON'T THINK WE'RE
GONNA NEED THAT MUCH POWER IF
GONNA NEED THAT MUCH POWER IF WE'RE USING MIRRORS TO HYPER
FOCUS THE PULSE BEAM.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M HYPER
FOCUSING ON RIGHT NOW?
TELL ME. TELL ME. YOUR LIPS.
YOUR LIPS. JOSH, YOU MAKE ME TINGLE LIKE
A 5 JIGAWATT CAPACITOR.
HEY, JOSH.
HEY, JOSH. WHACK JOB.
WHACK JOB. UNDERACHIEVER.
UNDERACHIEVER. WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF?
THEY ARE ITEMS FOR OUR
SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT. PAWS OFF!
PAWS OFF! WAIT.
WAIT. YOU TWO ARE WORKING TOGETHER ON
A SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT?
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BIG RIVALRY
BETWEEN YOU TWO?
WELL, NOW THAT WE'RE A
COUPLE, WE DECIDED TO COMBINE
OUR BRAIN POWER AND WORK AS A TEAM. TEAM. YEAH.
YEAH. WE'RE BUILDING A HYPERBOLIC
PHOTON CANNON.
PHOTON CANNON. WOW!
WOW! I'M HUNGRY.
I'M HUNGRY. AND NOW THAT HE'S GONE.
HEY!
HEY! Both: OW!
WHAT DO YOU WANT? THERE ARE A COUPLE OF GUYS OUTSIDE STEALING YOUR BIKE.
THERE ARE A COUPLE OF GUYS OUTSIDE STEALING
YOUR BIKE. OUTSIDE STEALING YOUR BIKE. OH!
OH! AND I JUST LUBED THE CHAIN.
HANDS OFF MY RIDE!
MAYBE I SHOULD CALL THE POLICE. NAH.
POLICE. NAH. NAH. NOBODY'S STEALING HIS BIKE.
WHAT'D YOU TELL HIM THAT FOR? YOU GOT HIM ALL
UPSET FOR YOU GOT HIM ALL UPSET FOR NOTHING.
NOTHING. YEAH.
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE, BUT I FOUND A WAY,
I FOUND A WAY, IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND,
IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO REALIGN
BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND, OVER YOUR SHOULDER,
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU
I'll ALWAYS BE PICKING YOU UP.
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, SO JUST TURN AROUND,
OOH-OOH-OOH, OOOOOOOH ♪
COOL LAPTOP. THANKS. EW, WHAT WEBSITE IS THIS?
THAT'S SKIN ILLNESSES.COM.
I WAS JUST LOOKING UP SOME STUFF
FOR MY BIOLOGY HOMEWORK.
WHY IS THIS GUY'S FACE ALL
PURPLISH?
PURPLISH? HE'S GOT THE BANGKOK RIVER
RASH.
RASH. SWEET!
SWEET! WHAT'S SWEET?
WHAT ARE YOU EATING? A BIG COOKIE. THAT WAS MY BIG COOKIE.
WANT IT BACK?
HEY, UH, THIS SKIN DISEASE WEBSITE. YEAH.
WEBSITE. YEAH. YEAH. EMAIL ME THE LINK, WOULD YOU?
EMAIL ME THE LINK, WOULD YOU? ARE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING
BAD TO DRAKE? BAD TO DRAKE? PROBABLY.
PROBABLY. EXCELLENT.
THERE WAS NO ONE STEALING MY BIKE. I KNOW.
I KNOW. LATER.
LATER. HEY, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THE PLASMA COIL?
RECALIBRATING THE PULSE RATE
TO 70 MEGAHERTZ.
I THOUGHT WE AGREED ON 50
MEGAHERTZ TO KEEP THE PHOTON
BALL SMALL.
BALL SMALL. WILL YOU TRUST ME ON THIS.
I HAVE WON THE SCIENCE FAIR THE
PAST 5 YEARS IN A ROW.
I KNEW IT. WHAT? YOU DON'T RESPECT MY
YOU DON'T RESPECT MY SCIENTIFIC INTELLECT.
SCIENTIFIC INTELLECT. OF COURSE I DO.
LOOK, OBVIOUSLY WE BOTH HAVE
TOTALLY DIFFERENT IDEAS WHEN IT
COMES TO HYPERBOLIC PHOTON
CANNON RAYS, SO...
WHY DON'T WE EACH JUST MAKE OUR
OWN PHOTON CANNON FOR THE
SCIENCE FAIR?
SCIENCE FAIR? WELL...
WELL... AND THAT WAY, WE CAN SPEND
LESS TIME ARGUING AND MORE TIME
KISSING.
KISSING. >> OOH... >> OOH... OK.
OK. WE'LL EACH MAKE OUR OWN
PHOTON CANNON.
PHOTON CANNON. THAT'S MY BOY.
OOH, I BETTER GET HOME.
AH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S ALMOST 10:30.
NOW ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK WITH THIS? ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK WITH
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK WITH THIS?
VERY OK WITH THAT.
I LOVE YOU.
SEE YOU IN CHEMISTRY.
[SCREAMS]
2 FOR 2. DRAKE! HANG ON. I'M BUSY.
HANG ON. I'M BUSY. MINDY JUST TOLD ME
MINDY JUST TOLD ME SHE LOVES ME.
WHAT?
MINDY TOLD YOU SHE LOVES YOU? YES! OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
OH, NO.
OH, NO. OH, NO, NO, NO.
OK, NOW YOU TELL ME.
TELL ME EXACTLY HOW YOU
RESPONDED WHEN MINDY SAID, I LOVE YOU.
[STUTTERING] I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY, SO, I JUST SAID,
SEE YOU IN CHEMISTRY, AND THEN I SLAMMED THE DOOR IN HER FACE.
JOSH, WHEN A GIRL SAYS, I
LOVE YOU, THAT IS THE TIME TO
CUT AND RUN.
YOU MEAN BREAK UP WITH HER? YES. NOW, THERE ARE A FEW WAYS YOU
CAN DO THIS.
CAN DO THIS. DRAKE, I DON'T WANT TO BREAK DRAKE, I DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HER.
YOU COULD FAKE YOUR OWN YOU COULD FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH.
DEATH. NOW THAT'S THE CLEANEST WAY, BUT
IT MIGHT FREAK MOM AND DAD OUT.
YOU'D HAVE TO MOVE
TO ANOTHER YOU'D HAVE TO MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE.
STATE. DRAKE, WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME.
YOU COULD ALWAYS BECOME A
WOMAN, BUT IT INVOLVES ALL THAT
SURGERY, AND THEN YOU'D HAVE TO...
TO... DRAKE!
DRAKE! WHAT IF I LOVE HER BACK?
WHY'D YOU SLAP ME? 'CAUSE YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY. I MIGHT LOVE HER.
WHOA, YOUR CHEEKS MAKE DIFFERENT SOUNDS WHEN THEY'RE SLAPPED.
SLAPPED. WHAT?
WHAT? CHECK IT OUT.
THEY'RE LIKE A SEMI-TONE APART.
ARE YOU DONE ASSAULTING MY FACE? DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU
MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH MINDY?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
MAYBE. I GOTTA THINK THIS THROUGH.
OH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? WHAT?
"SKIN DISEASES." LET'S SEE. "DERMA TEMECULITIS. A RARE SKIN AFFLICTION WHICH
A
RARE SKIN AFFLICTION WHICH CAUSES THE HANDS AND FEET TO
TURN A SICKLY GREENISH COLOR." NICE.
NICE. CURE, CURE, CURE.
AH.
AH. "THE ONLY KNOWN CURE REQUIRES AN
UNUSUALLY PAINFUL SERIES OF
INJECTIONS BY NEEDLE INTO THE
AFFLICTED AREAS."
AFFLICTED AREAS." AWESOME.
AWESOME. "THERE ARE SOME RUMORED HOME
REMEDIES, BUT THEY'RE HIGHLY
UNPLEASANT AND MAY OR MAY NOT BE
AFFECTED IN CURING
DERMA TEMECULITIS."
INTERESTING.
[TV PLAYS]
MINDY, IT'S GREAT THAT YOU LOVE ME, AND, AND... AND I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS FOR
YOU, TOO, BUT, NO THAT SOUNDS
LAME, UH...
MINDY... I AM IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING A WOMAN, SO I WORRIED...
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING A WOMAN, SO I
WORRIED... A WOMAN, SO I WORRIED... OH, MY GOD, JOSH!
WHAT'S WRONG, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHOA!!!
WHOA!!! WHY ARE YOUR HANDS GREEN?
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. I WOKE UP,
WENT TO THE BATHROOM, AND MY WENT
TO THE BATHROOM, AND MY HANDS WERE GREEN.
DID YOU TRY WASHING THEM?
YEAH. YEAH. FOR 10 MINUTES, MAN,
I EVEN USED SOAP.
JUST CALM DOWN.
WE'LL LOOK IT UP ONLINE. I'M JUST GONNA GO AROUND YOU.
HURRY.
HURRY. OK.
OK. I'll GO TO, UH,
WHAT'SWRONGWITHMYBODY.COM.
WHAT'SWRONGWITHMYBODY.COM WHAT'SWRONGWITHMYBODY.COM?
I HAVE IT BOOKMARKED. AND WE'LL GO TO SKIN ILLNESS,
GREEN, HANDS, GROSS.
WHAT'S IT SAY?
DERMA TEMECULITIS.
DERMA TEMECULITIS. WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT'S THAT? "A RARE SKIN DISEASE THAT"
"A RARE SKIN DISEASE THAT CAUSES THE HANDS AND FEET TO
TURN A SICKLY GREENISH COLOR." ALL RIGHT, WELL, I DON'T
HAVE ALL RIGHT, WELL, I DON'T HAVE THAT BECAUSE MY FEET
ARE ALL GREEN!
WHOA!!!
WHOA!!! JUST SHOW ME HOW TO CURE IT.
OK, OK, OK.
OK, IT SAYS HERE, THAT THE ONLY
KNOWN CURE FOR DERMA TEMECULITIS
IS A SERIES OF UNUSUALLY PAINFUL INJECTIONS BY NEEDLE.
OH, MAN.
OH, MAN. I HATE UNUSUALLY PAINFUL
INJECTIONS.
INJECTIONS. WE BETTER GET YOU TO A
DOCTOR. DOCTOR. OH, NO WAY.
DUDE, AS SOON AS MOM AND DAD DUDE, AS SOON AS MOM AND DAD FIND OUT...
FIND OUT... THEY ARE NOT GONNA FIND OUT,
OK? OK? WHAT ELSE DOES IT SAY?
OK, UH...
OK, UH... OK, IT SAYS HERE THAT SOME
DOCTORS CLAIM SUCCESS CURING
DERMA TEMECULITIS BY TREATING
THE INFLICTED AREAS WITH ZYFOLIC ACID.
ACID. WHERE DO I GET ZYFOLIC ACID?
ZYFOLIC ACID CAN BE FOUND IN
THE URINE OF MOST LIZARDS.
AWESOME. AWESOME. SO I JUST GOT TO STICK MY HANDS
AND FEET IN...
LIZARD URINE?
HEY, PUDDING CUP. HI, JOSH. YOU'RE MAD.
YOU'RE MAD. I'M NOT MAD.
MY NOSE IS SLIGHTLY BRUISED FROM
WHERE YOUR DOOR HIT ME IN THE
FACE.
FACE. I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST THAT... WHEN YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, IT KIND OF CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.
YEAH, THAT WAS JUST THE
YEAH, THAT WAS JUST THE IMPRESSION I GOT WHEN YOU
RESPONDED BY SAYING, "SEE YOU IN"
RESPONDED BY SAYING, "SEE YOU IN CHEMISTRY," THEN RUNNING AWAY
"CHEMISTRY," THEN RUNNING AWAY LIKE A FRIGHTENED LITTLE GIRL.
I KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO SAY I LOVE YOU BACK, BUT
I JUST DON'T THINK I SHOULD SAY IT UNLESS I'M
LOVE YOU BACK, BUT I JUST DON'T THINK I SHOULD SAY IT UNLESS I'M
SURE I FEEL IT, YOU KNOW?
OK.
OK. FAIR ENOUGH.
FAIR ENOUGH. I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO PUSH YOU
INTO SAYING SOMETHING YOU DON'T
MEAN, SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST
THINK ABOUT IT OVER THE WEEKEND.
I'M NOT IN ANY RUSH.
OH, REALLY?
OH, REALLY? REALLY.
REALLY. YOU'RE THE BEST.
I KNOW.
I KNOW. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. I GOTTA GO DO SOME WORK.
YOU, ZIP UP YOUR PANTS.
HEY, MAN. GOT THE LIZARDS. OH, COOL, COOL.
OH, COOL, COOL. SO WHEN DO YOU GET THE URINE?
UH, THAT WOULD BE UP TO THE
LIZARDS.
LIZARDS. HEY, SPEAKING OF COLD-BLOODED HEY, SPEAKING
OF COLD-BLOODED REPTILES, HOW DID IT GO WITH
MINDY?
MINDY? GREAT.
GREAT. I JUST TOLD HER THE TRUTH.
GOOD.
GOOD. SO YOU BROKE UP WITH HER.
NO. NO. I TOLD HER I WASN'T SURE HOW I
WAS FEELING, AND SHE GAVE ME THE
WEEKEND TO THINK WEEKEND TO THINK ABOUT IT.
DUDE, NO GIRL TELLS HER BOYFRIEND SHE LOVES
HIM AND IS THAT COOL WHEN HE DOESN'T SAY IT
BOYFRIEND SHE LOVES HIM AND IS THAT COOL WHEN HE
DOESN'T SAY IT THAT COOL WHEN HE DOESN'T SAY IT BACK.
BACK. SHE WAS.
SHE WAS. DUDE, I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S
AN IMPOS-
WAIT A SECOND. AREN'T YOU TWO SUPPOSED TO BE FINISHING UP YOUR SCIENCE FAIR
AREN'T YOU TWO SUPPOSED TO BE FINISHING UP YOUR SCIENCE
FAIR FINISHING UP YOUR SCIENCE FAIR PROJECTS THIS WEEKEND?
YEAH, SO?
YEAH, SO? SO, SHE'S MESSING WITH YOUR
HEAD, MAN.
HEAD, MAN. SHE'S TRYING TO DISTRACT YOU SO
SHE CAN BEAT YOU AGAIN.
DRAKE, MINDY'S NOT LIKE THAT,
OK, AND I'M SURE SHE'S JUST AS DISTRACTED BY THIS AS I AM.
I DON'T APPRECIATE
YOU... I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU... HI, GUYS.
HI, GUYS. HEY.
HEY. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
JUST SOME COMPONENTS FOR MY
SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT.
GOT A LOT OF WORK TO
DO THIS GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO THIS WEEKEND.
WEEKEND. LATER.
LATER. YEAH.
YEAH. SHE LOOKS PRETTY DISTRACTED.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS WHOLE "I LOVE YOU" THING IS
JUST A SCHEME TO WIG ME OUT SO I
WON'T BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON MY
PROJECT.
PROJECT. I TOLD HIM SO.
WELL, I WILL NOT WIG, OK?
YEAH, 'CAUSE THIS IS THE YEAR
THAT MINDY CRENSHAW WILL FINALLY BACK DOWN TO MY SUPERIOR
SCIENTIFIC ABILITY.
SCIENTIFIC ABILITY. DUDE, CHECK YOUR ZIPPER.
MAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS THING?
THING? WHY DOES IT KEEP SLIPPING DOWN?
ETHAN, YOU MADE A WATERMELON LAMP LAST YEAR. THIS ONE'S SEEDLESS.
DISQUALIFIED.
WHO'S NEXT? AH, FINALLY SOMEONE DECENT. MINDY CRENSHAW.
MINDY CRENSHAW. THANK YOU, MR. FARROW.
MY PROJECT THIS YEAR IS A FULLY
OPERATIONAL PHOTON CANNON.
Crowd: OOH...
Crowd: OOH... IMPRESSIVE.
IMPRESSIVE. PLEASE, DEMONSTRATE.
PLEASE, DEMONSTRATE. GLADLY.
GLADLY. OBSERVE THE PAPER.
[APPLAUSE] OH, MINDY. YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT.
YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT. NO, I DON'T.
NO, I DON'T. EXCELLENT.
EXCELLENT. EXCELLENT WORK.
EXCELLENT WORK. OK, LAST UP, WE HAVE
JOSH NICHOLS.
JOSH NICHOLS. RIGHT OVER HERE.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR US?
WELL, MR. FARROW,
I, TOO, HAVE BUILT A
PHOTON CANNON.
PHOTON CANNON. BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT FIND MINE
A BIT MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN
MINDY'S.
MINDY'S. PLEASE OBSERVE THE 1-INCH THICK
BOARD...
BOARD... OF WOOD.
OF WOOD. BYE BYE, BOARD.
HELLO, FIRST PRIZE.
[APPLAUSE] THANK YOU! THANK YOU, I KNOW.
THANK YOU, I KNOW. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. MY GOODNESS.
MY GOODNESS. IN MY 26 YEARS OF TEACHING, THAT
MAY BE THE MOST IMPRESSIVE
DISPLAY OF SCIENTIFIC
HOLE BURNING I'VE EVER SEEN.
I THINK THE CHOICE IS CLEAR.
JOSH NICHOLS, I HEREBY AWARD YOU FIRST PRIZE.
THANK YOU, MR. FARROW. ALL RIGHT, IN TRUE SCIENCE FAIR TRADITION, EVERYONE'S
INVITED TO THE NEXT ROOM FOR JUICE AND PUDDING.
CONGRATULATIONS. YOU FINALLY BEAT ME. IS SOMEONE UPSET THEIR LITTLE
PLAN DIDN'T WORK, HMM?
EXCUSE ME?
EXCUSE ME? I KNOW WHAT YOU
TRIED TO PULL.
GOOD, THEN TELL ME,
'CAUSE I DON'T.
THE WHOLE "I LOVE YOU" THING.
YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT.
YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO RATTLE
ME SO YOU COULD BEAT ME IN THE
SCIENCE FAIR AGAIN.
WELL, HA HA, AND HA.
OK, LOOK, I WAS NEVER GONNA TO TELL YOU THIS. NEVER GONNA TELL ME WHAT?
NEVER GONNA TELL ME WHAT? I LET YOU WIN.
YEAH, RIGHT.
YEAH, RIGHT. IT'S TRUE.
IT'S TRUE. WHY WOULD YOU LET ME WIN?
BECAUSE I FELT BAD THAT I'D
BEATEN YOU FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS,
AND I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCIENCE FAIR IS TO YOU, SO I
WANTED YOU TO WIN FOR ONCE.
YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.
[CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES] WELL, YOU WANT TO LAUGH WELL, YOU WANT TO LAUGH HARDER?
LAUGH AT THIS.
SEE. I WASN'T LYING. ABOUT ANYTHING.
THERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. "TO EFFECTIVELY TREAT
"TO
EFFECTIVELY TREAT DERMA TEMECULITIS WITH ZYFOLIC
ACID, THE AFFLICTED AREAS MUST
BE SUBMERGED FOR AT LEAST
45 MINUTES.
45 MINUTES. OK.
EW...
OH... OK, LIZARD PEE, DO YOUR THING.
DO YOUR THING. EW...
WOW, I SHOULD'VE TURNED THE TV ON FIRST.
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE HOLE IN THE WALL. OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I ALMOST GOT IT FIXED.
WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THIS? 'CAUSE YOU EARNED IT. I'll GET A BLUE RIBBON AND A.
'CAUSE YOU EARNED IT. I'll GET A BLUE RIBBON AND A
TROPHY WHEN I EARN IT.
I'M SORRY. FOR? NOT BELIEVING THAT YOU REALLY
NOT BELIEVING
THAT YOU REALLY MEANT IT WHEN YOU SAID YOU
MEANT IT WHEN YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME.
LOVED ME. HOW COULD YOU THINK I'D MAKE
THAT UP?
THAT UP? I DON'T KNOW, DRAKE KEEPS
SAYING... SAYING... THAT EXPLAINS IT.
YEAH.
MINDY, I... I CARE ABOUT YOU. A LOT, BUT...
A LOT, BUT... BUT YOU DON'T LOVE ME.
NO.
NO. I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
YOU'RE THE FIRST GIRL
I EVER DATED, SO...
I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT LOVE
FEELS LIKE.
FEELS LIKE. I MEAN, 2 YEARS AGO, I LOVED
MEAT LOAF. MEAT LOAF. NOW, I QUESTION WHETHER MEAT
SHOULD EVEN BE SERVED IN THE
FORM OF A LOAF.
SO YOU'RE COMPARING ME TO
GROUND BEEF.
GROUND BEEF. NO...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. I THINK I DO. LISTEN, AFTER I SAID...
YOU KNOW, WHAT I SAID,
I FELT KIND OF WEIRD ABOUT IT, TOO.
YOU DID?
YOU DID? A LITTLE.
A LITTLE. I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE...
MAYBE WE RUSHED US.
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER HAD A
BOYFRIEND BEFORE YOU EITHER,
AND UNTIL WE BOTH HAD A LITTLE MORE EXPERIENCE DATING,
WE CAN'T REALLY KNOW
IF US IS RIGHT.
RIGHT?
RIGHT? SO WHAT ARE WE SAYING HERE?
MAYBE WE NEED TO TAKE A
LITTLE BREAK.
LITTLE BREAK. YOU KNOW, SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
YEAH. BUT DOES THAT MEAN, LIKE, WE CAN'T HANG OUT, OR LIKE, TALK
BUT DOES THAT MEAN, LIKE, WE CAN'T HANG OUT, OR
LIKE, TALK CAN'T HANG OUT, OR LIKE, TALK ANYMORE?
ANYMORE? COME ON.
COME ON. OF COURSE WE CAN.
IF YOU WANT TO. IF YOU WANT TO. NO, I WANT TO.
I WANT TO, TOO.
SO... SO... UH, YOU KNOW, THIS PHOTON
UH, YOU KNOW,
THIS PHOTON CANNON IS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.
THANKS. THANKS. I MEAN, HOW DID YOU GET THE
PULSE BEAM TO...
WAIT, DON'T!
I'M OUT.
MAN, SOAKING YOUR HANDS AND FEET IN LIZARD URINE IS SO BORING.
OH, IT'S YOU. CLOSE THE DOOR.
WHAT'S GOING ON? SWEAR NOT TO TELL MOM AND DAD?
MOM AND DAD? SWEAR.
SWEAR. WELL, I HAVE THIS RARE SKIN
DISEASE CALLED
DISEASE CALLED DERMA TEMECULITIS.
[GASPS] OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU OK?
I WILL BE. SEE, I READ ONLINE THAT YOU CAN CURE IT BY SOAKING IN ZYFOLIC
SEE, I READ ONLINE THAT YOU CAN CURE IT BY SOAKING
IN ZYFOLIC CURE IT BY SOAKING IN ZYFOLIC ACID.
ACID. WHICH IS IN LIZARD PEE.
AH.
AH. OR, YOU KNOW, THERE IS
ANOTHER CURE.
ANOTHER CURE. WHAT?
WHAT? NEXT TIME, DON'T EAT MY BIG
COOKIE.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? THAT I TRICKED YOU INTO THINKING YOU HAVE A RARE SKIN
DISEASE BY DYING YOUR HANDS AND FEET GREEN WHILE YOU SLEPT.
AND THAT YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH
TO ACTUALLY FALL FOR IT, AND
THEN STICK YOUR HANDS AND FEET
IN BUCKETS OF LIZARD PEE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
MEGAN! MEGAN! YOU HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING
ON YOUR UPPER LIP.
MY LIP, WHAT?
OH!
OH! OH!
OH! [SPITS]
WAIT! WHAT? IS IT GONE?
HEY, JOSH. WHAT'S THAT DOING HERE? WHAT'S WHAT DOING HERE?
WHAT'S WHAT DOING HERE? THAT.
THAT. THE THING IN THE SKIRT.
I'M SORRY, WHAT, WHAT'D YOU
SAY, LIZARD PEE?
HA HA HA.
HA HA HA. FUNNY.
FUNNY. ANYWAY, I THOUGHT YOU TWO ANYWAY, I THOUGHT YOU TWO BROKE UP.
BROKE UP. WE DID. WE DID. DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T HANG
OUT AND DO HOMEWORK TOGETHER.
SO, YOU TWO AREN'T GONNA BE
MAKING OUT ANYMORE, BUT YOU'RE
STILL GONNA HANG OUT AND STUDY
TOGETHER. TOGETHER. BASICALLY.
BASICALLY. YEAH.
YEAH. AND I'M THE DUMB ONE.
DRAKE, THESE BUCKETS I JUST FOUND IN YOUR ROOM. WHAT'S IN THEM?
WHAT'S IN THEM? THE TRUTH.
THE TRUTH. LIZARD PEE.
LIZARD PEE. COUNSELING TWICE A WEEK.
BUT, MOM, DR. STEIN
MAKES ME TALK TO PUPPETS.
WHAT YOU DOING? I PAID YOU $10 TO STAY AWAY FROM THE SCIENCE FAIR.
FROM THE SCIENCE FAIR. YEAH.
YEAH. YOU GOT RIPPED OFF. YOU GOT RIPPED OFF. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... ]