[ MUSIC ]
YOU KNOW WHAT? [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'VE BEEN NOTICING...
THERE'S A PATTERN
IN MY LIFE...
WHENEVER JOSH GETS ME
INVOLVED IN SOMETHING...
EVERY TIME DRAKE DRAGS ME
INTO ONE
OF HIS LITTLE ADVENTURES...
THINGS GO BAD.
[LAUGHTER] THINGS GO BAD. [LAUGHTER] BAD.
[LAUGHTER] BAD. OW.
BAD. OW. BAD.
OW. BAD. [LAUGHTER]
BAD. [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
YOU DO?
[LAUGHTER]
OH, YOU DO.
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, OKAY.
THEN I GUESS I'VE MADE
WELL, OKAY. THEN I GUESS I'VE MADE MY POINT.
[LAUGHTER]
I MEAN...
YOU KNOW IT'S...
IT'S JUST THAT UH...
I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU
A LITTLE STORY.
WELL, I HAD SOME EXAMPLES...
ABOUT JOSH,
YOU KNOW BEING ANNOYING...
AND DRAKE
IN HIS IRRITATING WAYS...
[LAUGHTER]
BUT IF YOU ALREADY GET IT...
BUT SINCE YOU ALREADY KNOW
WHAT I MEAN...
I GUESS I'M DONE.
[LAUGHTER]
ENJOY THE PROGRAM.
[LAUGHTER]
[ MUSIC ] ENJOY YOUR MOVIE. THANKS.
HEY, MAN. HEY, HEY, WHAT'S UP?
WE'RE GOING TO SEE A MOVIE. OH, COOL. DO YOU GUYS WANT SOME SNACKS?
I LIKE PANCAKES.
[LAUGHTER]
OKAY.
BUT THIS IS A MOVIE THEATER, SO HOW ABOUT SOME POPCORN?
OKAY. [LAUGHTER]
YOU CARRY AROUND A BOTTLE OF SYRUP WITH YOU?
YEAH. [LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER] DON'T YOUR HANDS GET
ALL STICKY?
UH-HUH. [LAUGHTER] WHY DON'T YOU GO SAVE US
TWO SEATS?
OKAY.
[LAUGHTER]
OKAY. [LAUGHTER] HEY, JOSH. [LAUGHTER] HEY, JOSH. DID YOU SIGN UP?
SIGN UP FOR WHAT? DID
YOU SIGN UP? SIGN UP FOR WHAT? SEE THOSE TWO PEOPLE
OVER THERE? SEE
THOSE TWO PEOPLE OVER THERE? THEY'RE PRODUCERS FROM,
"PUMP MY ROOM."
OH, LET'S GO SIGN UP
WHAT ABOUT YOUR DATE?
OH, SHE'S FINE.
SHE'S GOT POPCORN AND
SYRUP. OH, SHE'S FINE. SHE'S GOT POPCORN AND SYRUP. COME ON.
[LAUGHTER]
EXCUSE ME, [LAUGHTER] EXCUSE ME, IS THIS WHERE WE SIGN UP?
SURE. IS
THIS WHERE WE SIGN UP? SURE. HOW'S IT WORK?
YOU JUST FILL OUT THIS FORM,
THEN YOU GO HOME,
MAKE A VIDEO PRESENTATION
SHOWING US YOUR ROOM,
AND WHY YOU FEEL YOU DESERVE
TO HAVE IT PUMPED.
WE HAVE A ROOM.
WE DESERVE TO HAVE IT PUMPED.
[LAUGHTER]
GIVE IT A SHOT.
OKAY.
WHERE'S THE LITTLE
GIRL'S OKAY. WHERE'S THE LITTLE GIRL'S ROOM?
[LAUGHTER]
ROOM? [LAUGHTER] YEAH, SHE'S A GOOD ONE.
[LAUGHTER]
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT ♪
♪ THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE ♪
♪ BUT I FOUND A WAY ♪
♪ I FOUND A WAY ♪
♪ IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND ♪
♪ AND SEE WHAT'S INSIDE ♪
♪ IT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME ♪
♪ TO REALIZE ♪
♪ BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE ♪
♪ I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND ♪
♪ OVER YOUR SHOULDER ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THAT I'VE TOLD YOU ♪
♪ I'll ALWAYS BE ♪
♪ PICKING YOU UP ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ♪
♪ SO JUST TURN AROUND ♪
♪ OOOH ♪
[ MUSIC ]
OKAY, GET THE CAMCORDER. OOH, I'M GETTING IT. [LAUGHTER]
MAN, DO YOU REALIZE
HOW AWESOME IT WOULD BE MAN,
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME IT WOULD BE IF WE ACTUALLY WIN
THIS ROOM MAKEOVER?
OH, VERY.
HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS ROOM NEEDS?
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ROOM NEEDS? YEAH, A HOT TUB, A HAMMOCK,
AND A VIBRATING CHAIR.
[LAUGHTER]
OR A VIBRATING COUCH.
BETTER. OR A VIBRATING COUCH. BETTER. [LAUGHTER]
BETTER. [LAUGHTER] BUT IF WE'RE GOING [LAUGHTER] BUT IF WE'RE GOING TO WIN THIS,
THEN WE GOT TO MAKE SURE
THIS VIDEO IS AWESOME LIKE...
HEY.
YOU KNOW YOU COULD KNOCK.
YEAH. YOU KNOW
YOU COULD KNOCK. YEAH. AND YOU COULD HAVE
A NORMAL-SIZED HEAD,
BUT YOU DON'T, DO YOU?
[LAUGHTER]
YOU DON'T.
CAN WE HELP YOU?
YOU DON'T. CAN WE HELP YOU? I JUST NEED TO BORROW
YOUR HOT GLUE GUN.
HOT GLUE GUN,
YOU... I DON'T LIKE IT.
RELAX.
I'M JUST MAKING A PRESENT
FOR MOM AND DAD'S ANNIVERSARY.
ISN'T THAT
LIKE FOR MOM AND DAD'S ANNIVERSARY. ISN'T THAT LIKE TWO WEEKS AWAY?
YEAH, WHY ARE YOU
MAKING IT NOW?
BECAUSE I'M A BUSY PERSON.
BETWEEN SCHOOL, OBOE PRACTICE,
GYMNASTICS, AND COLLECTING
ANTIQUE SPONGES,
I BARELY HAVE TIME TO BREATHE.
OH, FEEL FREE
TO STOP BREATHING ANY TIME.
[LAUGHS]
HE SAID IT. [LAUGHS] HE SAID IT. [LAUGHTER]
HE SAID IT. [LAUGHTER] NO, I DIDN'T.
I'M LEAVING.
WHEN YOU'RE DONE I'M
LEAVING. WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH OUR GLUE GUN,
MAKE SURE YOU BRING IT BACK.
NO.
ALL RIGHT THEN.
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
LET'S JUST FOCUS ON MAKING
AN AWESOME TAPE SO WE WIN
THAT ROOM MAKEOVER.
HEY.
HEY WHAT?
WHAT IF WE TRY TO WIN
HEY WHAT? WHAT IF WE TRY TO WIN THE MAKEOVER FOR MOM AND DAD?
WHY?
FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY.
IF WE WIN WE COULD HAVE THEM
MAKEOVER THE LIVING ROOM.
DON'T YOU THINK
THAT'D BE REALLY NICE?
WE ALWAYS GET THEM
SOMETHING NICE.
LAST YEAR YOU GAVE THEM
A COUPON BOOK...
[LAUGHTER]
THAT YOU FOUND [LAUGHTER] THAT YOU FOUND IN THE DUMPSTER.
[LAUGHTER]
YEAH.
[LAUGHTER] YEAH. WALTER GOT 40 PERCENT OFF
A SHOVEL AND MOM GOT TWO SALAMIS
FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.
A SHOVEL AND MOM GOT TWO SALAMIS FOR THE PRICE OF
ONE. [LAUGHTER] FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. [LAUGHTER] YEAH?
[LAUGHTER] YEAH? WELL, NOTHING SAYS YEAH? WELL, NOTHING SAYS "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY"
LIKE TWO SALAMIS AND A SHOVEL.
"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY" LIKE TWO SALAMIS AND A SHOVEL. [LAUGHTER]
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
COME ON.
IT'S THEIR FIFTH ANNIVERSARY.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. IT'S
THEIR FIFTH ANNIVERSARY. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. WE'LL TRY TO WIN
THE ROOM MAKEOVER
FOR MOM AND WALTER.
OKAY. FOR MOM AND WALTER. OKAY. YOU CAN HAVE
OKAY. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HOT GLUE GUN BACK.
[LAUGHTER] QUALITY GLUE? YEAH.
[ MUSIC ]
DEAR "PUMP MY ROOM." THIS IS OUR LIVING ROOM. A ROOM IN WHICH WE LIVE.
THIS IS OUR LIVING ROOM. A ROOM IN WHICH WE LIVE. [LAUGHTER]
WE REALLY HOPE WE
WIN [LAUGHTER] WE REALLY HOPE WE WIN THIS MAKEOVER.
BUT NOT FOR US.
FOR OUR PARENTS.
WE CALL THEM MOM AND DAD.
YOU SEE, MY DAD MARRIED
HIS MOM ALMOST FIVE YEARS AGO.
I AM STILL IN SHOCK.
AND SOON, IT WILL BE
THEIR FIFTH ANNIVERSARY.
STILL IN SHOCK.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, WE CAN'T AFFORD
[LAUGHTER] NOW, WE CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY THEM ANYTHING FANCY.
SO WE PRAY
THAT YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE
AT "PUMP MY ROOM" CHOOSE US.
NAY, OUR PARENTS.
[LAUGHTER]
FOR THE SPECIAL GIFT
OF A ROOM MAKEOVER.
PLEASE.
PLEASE.
PLEASE. PLEASE. [LAUGHTER]
PLEASE. [LAUGHTER] ALL RIGHT. [LAUGHTER] ALL
RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. GOOD ONE.
GOOD ONE. GOOD ONE. GOOD ONE. GOOD ONE.
GOOD ONE. GOOD ONE. I STILL THINK ONE OF US NEEDS
TO CRY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'll PUNCH YOU IN THE KIDNEY,
WE'LL DO IT AGAIN. I'll
PUNCH YOU IN THE KIDNEY, WE'LL DO IT AGAIN. YOU'RE GOING TO PUN...
[DOOR BELL RINGING] YOU'RE GOING TO PUN...
[DOOR BELL RINGING] I'll GET IT. [DOOR BELL RINGING] I'll GET IT. I'll GET IT.
[LAUGHTER]
HOT NACHOS FOR DRAKE
AND JOSH.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT WE DIDN'T ORDER. [LAUGHTER] BUT WE
DIDN'T ORDER. YEAH. BUT WE DIDN'T ORDER. YEAH. IT'S ABOUT TIME
OUR NACHOS GOT HERE.
BUT WE DIDN'T ORDER.
[SHUSHING]
FREE NACHOS.
[LAUGHTER] FREE NACHOS. [LAUGHTER] I'll TAKE THOSE.
JOSH, TAKE THE NACHO BOY.
[LAUGHTER]
DO YOU HAVE CHANGE FOR FIVE?
NO, SIR.
[LAUGHTER]
WE DIDN'T ORDER THOSE.
DUDE, WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU
FREE NACHOS,
YOU DON'T QUESTION IT.
[LAUGHTER]
I'M JUST WORRIED
ABOUT WHO REALLY DID ORDER THEM.
I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT WHO REALLY DID ORDER THEM. OH, MY GOD.
THESE ARE GOOD NACHOS.
I KNOW.
SERIOUSLY.
OH.
SERIOUSLY. OH. THESE ARE THE BEST NACHOS
IN THE WORLD.
THEY'RE MADE WITH,
LIKE FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS
OF CHEESES.
[LAUGHTER] OF CHEESES. [LAUGHTER] WHAT YOU SAY?
AS LONG AS NOBODY SEES US?
WHAT YOU SAY? AS LONG AS NOBODY SEES US? I KNOW.
WHAT'S MATTER WITH YOU?
IT'S GETTING HARD FOR ME
TO SWALLOW.
[LAUGHTER]
SOMETHING'S WRONG
[LAUGHTER] SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THESE NACHOS.
[LAUGHTER]
AWESOME.
GREAT, GREAT WORK.
AWESOME. GREAT, GREAT WORK. YOU REALLY THINK SO?
MEGAN, WHO IS THIS?
GO GET OVER THERE.
DRAKE, JOSH,
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
MY NEW ASSISTANT, TYLER.
TYLER, YOU KNOW THE BOOPS.
BOOPS.
I'll EXPLAIN.
SEE, LIKE I TOLD YOU,
I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY LATELY,
SO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO HARASS
I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY LATELY, SO I DON'T HAVE
TIME TO HARASS YOU GUYS AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO,
SO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO HARASS YOU GUYS AS
MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO, WHICH IS WHY I HIRED TYLER
YOU GUYS AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO, WHICH IS WHY I HIRED TYLER AS MY ASSISTANT.
TO HELP MAKE YOUR LIVES
AS MISERABLE AS POSSIBLE.
[LAUGHTER]
HE MADE THE NACHOS.
I USED
A SPECIAL STICKY CHEESE.
[LAUGHTER]
STICKY CHEESE?
YEAH.
TYLER, COME UPSTAIRS WITH ME.
WE'LL MAKE A SCHEDULE
FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.
YES, MA'AM.
DON'T DO THAT.
[PHONE RINGING]
HELLO?
NO, NO DON'T... HELLO.
HELLO? NO, NO DON'T... HELLO. NO, I KNOW.
I HAVE MY MOUTH...
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
YOU TALK TO HIM.
HELLO?
WHO IS IT?
WHO IS IT?
HELLO?
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT DID YOU DO?
YOU RUINED OUR LIFE.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
[ MUSIC ]
OKAY. YOUR TURN. GO.
OKAY.
GO. OKAY. OH, YEAH RIGHT. OKAY. OH, YEAH RIGHT. HERE'S A GOOD ONE.
IF YOU COULD BE A GIRL
FOR A WHOLE DAY,
WOULD YOU DO IT?
ABSOLUTELY.
I KNOW, RIGHT? ABSOLUTELY. I KNOW, RIGHT? YEAH.
[LAUGHTER]
YEAH. [LAUGHTER] DRAKE, JOSH, THE PRODUCERS
FROM THAT SHOW "PUMP MY ROOM"
ARE LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS.
NO WAY.
WHAT? NO WAY. WHAT? YEAH.
WHAT? YEAH. THEY'RE RIGHT OVER THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
DRAKE AND JOSH,
DRAKE AND JOSH.
DRAKE AND JOSH, DRAKE AND JOSH, DRAKE AND JOSH. HEY, HEY, RIGHT.
DRAKE PARKER
HEY, HEY, RIGHT. DRAKE PARKER AND JOSH
NICHOLS? DRAKE PARKER AND JOSH NICHOLS? YEP.
AND JOSH NICHOLS? YEP. CONGRATULATIONS.
WE LOVED YOUR VIDEO.
CONGRATULATIONS. WE LOVED YOUR VIDEO. SO YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED WE
LOVED YOUR VIDEO. SO YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED TO HAVE YOUR HOUSE FEATURED
ON "PUMP MY ROOM."
[GASPING]
[LAUGHTER]
OKAY SO HERE'S THE DEAL.
[LAUGHTER] OKAY SO HERE'S THE DEAL. THIS SATURDAY YOU'VE GOT
TO MAKE SURE
EVERYONE IS OUT OF YOUR HOUSE
FROM 11 A.M. TO FIVE P.M.
JUST LEAVE
THE KEY FROM 11 A.M. TO FIVE P.M. JUST LEAVE THE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
OH, WE DON'T HAVE A MAT.
BUY A MAT.
[LAUGHTER]
LEAVE A KEY UNDER IT.
AND THE "PUMP MY ROOM" CREW
WILL COME IN AND MAKE SURE
THAT YOUR MOM AND DAD'S
LIVING ROOM IS THE MOST SPECIAL
THAT YOUR MOM AND DAD'S LIVING ROOM IS THE
MOST SPECIAL LIVING ROOM IN ALL OF SAN DIEGO.
LIVING ROOM IS THE MOST SPECIAL LIVING ROOM IN ALL OF SAN DIEGO. [LAUGHTER]
AH. [LAUGHTER] AH. OH, THIS IS SO GREAT.
WELL, I THINK OH, THIS IS SO
GREAT. WELL, I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE VERY PLEASED
WHEN YOU GET HOME ON SATURDAY.
OH, GREAT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH NO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. OH NO. JUST...
[LAUGHTER] JUST... [LAUGHTER] OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I KNOW I GOT TO KISS SOMEONE.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
I WON A CONTEST.
YEY.
[LAUGHTER]
YEY. [LAUGHTER] I WON A CONTEST.
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.
[LAUGHTER]
[ MUSIC ]
I WASN'T CHEWING GUM. [LAUGHTER]
[ MUSIC ]
OKAY, MOM AND DAD, HERE IT COMES. WHO'S READY TO GO INSIDE?
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU GUYS?
YEAH.
YOU KEPT US OUT ALL DAY,
DRIVING ALL OVER THE CITY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
GET READY.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. [LAUGHTER]
DRAKE? JOSH? WHERE'S OUR STUFF?
[LAUGHTER]
WE'VE BEEN ROBBED.
SURPRISE.
[LAUGHTER]
SURPRISE. [LAUGHTER] [ MUSIC ]
[LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] WHAT HAPPENED?
[LAUGHTER] WHAT HAPPENED? DRAKE AND JOSH LET
BAD PEOPLE STEAL OUR STUFF.
[LAUGHTER]
SERGEANT DOTY?
I HAVE COFFEE
BUT I CAN'T MAKE IT I
HAVE COFFEE BUT I CAN'T MAKE IT BECAUSE THEY STOLE
OUR COFFEE MAKER.
[LAUGHTER]
JUST BRING ME THE DRY COFFEE
WITH A SPOON.
[LAUGHTER]
SO LET ME SEE
IF I GOT THIS STRAIGHT.
SHOOT.
GO AHEAD.
YOU TWO SUPPOSEDLY WON
A HOME MAKEOVER
FROM SOME TV SHOW
YOU NEVER HEARD OF?
THAT'S
RIGHT. YOU NEVER HEARD OF? THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH. AND AT THEIR REQUEST YEAH. AND AT THEIR REQUEST YOU MADE SURE
THAT NO ONE WAS HOME TODAY
FOR SIX HOURS?
RIGHT.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.
[LAUGHTER]
SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
I THINK YOU'RE IDIOTS.
[LAUGHTER]
WE KNOW THEY'RE IDIOTS.
[LAUGHTER]
SO, UH, DO YOU THINK
YOU CAN GET OUR FURNITURE BACK?
SO, UH, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET OUR FURNITURE BACK? [LAUGHTER]
I DON'T KNOW.
GOOD COFFEE.
[LAUGHTER]
THANK YOU.
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY TOOK EVERYTHING.
I NEED AN ASPIRIN.
I'll BRING YOU SOME JUICE.
PINEAPPLE.
[LAUGHTER]
I'll GET HIM THE JUICE.
[LAUGHTER] I'll GET HIM THE JUICE. OH, THANKS SWEETIE.
I'M NOT GETTING THEM THE JUICE.
[LAUGHTER]
ISN'T YOUR DAD THE WEATHERMAN
ON CHANNEL SEVEN?
YEAH. ON CHANNEL SEVEN? YEAH. THAT'S HIM.
HE SAID IT WASN'T GOING
TO RAIN ON MY KID'S BIRTHDAY
BUT IT DID RAIN.
[LAUGHTER]
SORRY.
[LAUGHTER] SORRY. YEAH.
SORRY. YEAH. ME TOO.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT? [LAUGHTER] WHAT? WE HAVE TO REPLACE
MOM AND DAD'S FURNITURE.
DUDE, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
IT'S GOING TO COST
TO REPLACE A WHOLE ROOM
FULL OF NICE FURNITURE?
A LOT.
WELL, GOOD THING YOU HAVE
A JOB. WELL, GOOD
THING YOU HAVE A JOB. I'M GOING TO GRAB SOME TACOS
GIVE ME 20 BUCKS.
[LAUGHTER] GIVE ME 20 BUCKS. [LAUGHTER] NO.
[LAUGHTER] NO. OKAY, MY JOB AT THE COMMUNITY
DOESN'T PAY ME ENOUGH
TO REFURNISH THIS ENTIRE ROOF.
YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE TO
FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE
SOME MONEY FAST.
[LAUGHTER]
HEY.
[LAUGHTER] HEY. DO YOU THINK EGGS ARE FUNNY?
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I COULD ARREST THE TWO OF YOU
FOR ASSAULTING A POLICE OFFICER?
I COULD ARREST THE TWO OF YOU FOR ASSAULTING
A POLICE OFFICER? WE DIDN'T THROW AN EGG
FOR ASSAULTING A POLICE OFFICER? WE DIDN'T THROW AN EGG AT YOU.
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE
ANY EGGS AT YOU. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY EGGS ON US.
HUH?
AND WHOSE ARE THESE?
THE EGG FAIRIES?
[LAUGHTER]
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE THOSE CAME FROM.
FIFTY PUSH-UPS.
BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE US
DO... FIFTY PUSH-UPS. BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE US DO... PUSH-UPS.
OH.
PUSH-UPS. OH. ONE. OH. ONE. OW.
ONE. OW. TWO. OW. TWO. OW.
TWO. OW. THREE. OW. THREE. OW.
THREE. OW. FOUR. OW. FOUR. OW.
FOUR. OW. FIVE.
OW. FIVE. OW.
FIVE. OW. SIX. OW. SIX. OW.
SIX. OW. SEVEN. OW. SEVEN. OW.
SEVEN. OW. EIGHT.
OW. EIGHT. NINE.
DRAKE PARKER. JOSH NICHOLS. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
JOSH NICHOLS. WHAT DO YOU WANT? WE UNDERSTAND YOU GIVE PEOPLE
TEMPORARY JOBS?
SO?
[LAUGHTER]
SO? [LAUGHTER] AND WE'D LIKE ONE?
YEAH. AND WE'D
LIKE ONE? YEAH. AND I'D LIKE TO MEET A WOMAN
WHO DOESN'T CHANGE AND
I'D LIKE TO MEET A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T CHANGE HER PHONE NUMBER
AFTER THE FIRST DATE.
[LAUGHTER]
YEAH, WELL, GOOD
LUCK [LAUGHTER] YEAH, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
OKAY.
[LAUGHTER] OKAY. WHAT ARE YOUR SKILLS?
I PLAY GUITAR AND DATE GIRLS.
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, I'M AN HONOR STUDENT.
I'M PRETTY GOOD WELL,
I'M AN HONOR STUDENT. I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH MAGIC TRICKS.
I CAN COOK.
OH, IN THE FIFTH GRADE
I WAS VOTED MOST POLITE CHILD.
NO.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
[LAUGHTER]
LET'S SEE.
I'VE GOT MEN'S ROOM ATTENDANT,
DITCH DIGGER.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, YOU COULD CLEAN UP
[LAUGHTER] OH, YOU COULD CLEAN UP AFTER ELEPHANTS AT THE ZOO.
WOW, THEY ALL SOUND
SO WONDERFUL.
[LAUGHTER]
DO YOU HAVE ANY JOBS
[LAUGHTER] DO YOU HAVE ANY JOBS THAT ARE, YOU KNOW,
NOT REPULSIVE?
YEAH.
AND WE WANT ONE THAT PAYS A LOT.
SURE.
AND I WANT TO MEET
A WOMAN SURE. AND I WANT TO MEET A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T CHANGE
HER PHONE NUMBER
AFTER THE FIRST DATE.
YOU ALREADY SAID THAT.
WELL, IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
[LAUGHTER]
I MEAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
WE JUST WANT JOBS.
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, I GOT TWO JOBS
ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I GOT TWO JOBS WORKING THE LINE
AT A FISH FACTORY.
NOT GLAMOROUS ENOUGH FOR YOU?
WELL, WHAT WOULD WE
HAVE NOT GLAMOROUS ENOUGH FOR YOU? WELL, WHAT WOULD WE HAVE TO DO?
YOU'D BE ASSEMBLING PACKAGES
OF SUSHI FOR DISTRIBUTION
TO LOCAL SUPERMARKETS.
PAYS 18 BUCKS AN HOUR.
EACH.
YEAH, WE'LL TAKE IT.
GOOD.
HAPPY, HAPPY.
[LAUGHTER]
HERE'S THE ADDRESS.
BE THERE SATURDAY MORNING 8:00.
8:00?
WE'LL BE THERE.
YEAH, YEAH.
[LAUGHTER]
[PHONE RINGING] THE NUMBER YOU HAVE REACHED HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED.
THE NUMBER YOU HAVE REACHED HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED. EVERY TIME.
STUPID LOTION.
[ MUSIC ]
ALL RIGHT. HERE IS WHERE WE PACKAGE THE SUSHI.
WHEN THAT GREEN LIGHT GOES ON,
THE SUSHI WILL MOVE WHEN
THAT GREEN LIGHT GOES ON, THE SUSHI WILL MOVE ACROSS THE CONVEYOR BELT
FROM HERE TO THERE.
YOUR JOB IS TO TAKE THE PIECES
OF SUSHI OFF THE CONVEYOR BELT
AND PLACE THEM
INTO THESE CONTAINERS HERE.
THEN YOU PLACE THE CONTAINERS
BACK ON THE LINE THERE.
SIX PIECES OF SUSHI
TO ONE CONTAINER.
NOW, IF ANY SUSHI PASSES
THROUGH THERE UNBOXED,
YOU WILL BE FINED
AND FORCIBLY ESCORTED
THROUGH THAT DOOR THERE.
ANY QUESTIONS?
[LAUGHTER]
YEAH... [LAUGHTER] YEAH... I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR QUESTIONS.
SIT.
LET THE SUSHI ROLL.
SIT. LET THE SUSHI ROLL. [LAUGHTER]
I GET IT. [LAUGHTER] I GET IT. SUSHI ROLL.
THAT WASN'T A JOKE.
THAT WAS
AN UNFORTUNATE COINCIDENTAL
PAIRING OF WORDS.
[LAUGHTER]
LET THE SUSHI ROLL.
I'll BE BACK IN TWO MINUTES.
LET THE SUSHI ROLL. I'll BE BACK IN TWO MINUTES TO EVALUATE YOUR PERFORMANCE.
PUT THE SUSHI IN A BOX, HOW EASY IS THIS? I KNOW, RIGHT.
AND HERE WE GO.
TIME TO PACKAGE
SOME DEAD FISH.
[LAUGHTER]
[WHISTLING]
OH, YEAH, THIS IS REALLY CHALLENGING. [LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. [LAUGHTER] ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. IT MIGHT NOT BE
THE MOST EXCITING
JOB IT MIGHT NOT BE THE MOST EXCITING JOB IN THE WORLD,
BUT AT LEAST IT WILL EARN US
ENOUGH MONEY TO GET MOM AND DAD
SOME NEW FURNITURE.
HEY, HEY, GRAB THAT
ONE, SOME NEW FURNITURE. HEY, HEY, GRAB THAT ONE, GRAB THAT ONE, DUDE.
GRAB THAT,
DUDE. GRAB THAT ONE, DUDE. GRAB THAT, DUDE. OKAY, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT. OKAY, I GOT
IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. DON'T WORRY.
[LAUGHTER]
WHOA.
[LAUGHTER] WHOA. THIS THING'S GOING WHOA. THIS THING'S GOING KIND OF FAST NOW.
HEY, CAN YOU SLOW IT
DOWN KIND OF FAST NOW. HEY, CAN YOU SLOW IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT?
[LAUGHTER]
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
HEY, GRAB ALL THE PIECES.
GRAB THEM, GRAB THEM, HEY, GRAB ALL THE PIECES.
GRAB THEM, GRAB THEM, GRAB THEM. GRAB THEM, GRAB THEM, GRAB THEM. PUT THEM ON THE SIDE.
I'M TRYING.
I'M TRYING.
OH, OH. I'M TRYING. OH, OH. DON'T LOSE IT.
DON'T LOSE IT.
[LAUGHTER]
DUDE, THEY STICK.
YES.
OH.
YES. OH. OH, SHE'S COMING BACK.
OH.
HURRY.
OH. HURRY. [LAUGHTER]
EXCELLENT. YOU BOYS ARE DOING A FINE JOB. SPEED IT UP A LITTLE.
YOU BOYS ARE DOING A FINE JOB. SPEED IT UP A LITTLE. [BUZZER]
SPEED IT UP.
YOU GRAB THIS. SPEED IT UP. YOU GRAB THIS. I'M TRYING.
I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING. OH, I GOT THIS.
OH, I CAN'T.
I GOT IT.
I THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, DUDE.
WILL YOU SLOW IT DOWN, PLEASE?
WE'RE JUST BOYS.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, COME ON.
GRAB UP, JOSH.
OH, I'M TRYING.
DRAKE, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I'M TRYING ON.
COME
ON, OH. I'M TRYING ON. COME ON, OH. OH, DUDE.
NO, DON'T DO THIS,
TO ME... OH...
[LAUGHTER]
THEY'RE FALLING DOWN.
THEY'RE FALLING OFF
THE CEILING.
I KNOW.
NERVOUS.
[CRYING]
NERVOUS. [CRYING] YEAH.
[ MUSIC ]
[LAUGHTER] THAT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.
THAT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. I'M GOING TO SMELL
LIKE DEAD FISH FOR A WEEK.
I'M GOING TO SMELL LIKE DEAD FISH FOR A WEEK. [LAUGHTER]
LOOK, I'VE GOT YELLOW TAIL
UNDER MY FINGERNAILS.
OH MAN,
WHAT IS THAT IN MY PANTS?
FEELS LIKE... SPICY TUNA.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, REALLY SPICY.
OH.
OH, MAN.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE
MOM AND DAD'S LIVING ROOM EMPTY.
LOOK MAN, WE TRIED OUR BEST,
OKAY? LOOK MAN, WE TRIED OUR BEST, OKAY? I DON'T... I CAN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING ELSE...
[LAUGHTER]
THE FURNITURE'S BACK. WE DID IT. WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
[LAUGHTER]
HOWDY, BOYS?
SURPRISED?
SURE, YEAH.
YEAH, HOW DID YOU GET
SURE, YEAH. YEAH, HOW DID YOU GET OUR FURNITURE BACK?
THE POLICE FOUND
THE ROBBERS' MOVING VAN.
IT WAS BROKEN DOWN
ABOUT A HALF MILE UP THE STREET.
AND THEY FOUND EVERYTHING?
YUP.
IT'S ALL HERE.
HEY, DO I SMELL ROTTING SUSHI?
YEAH, IT'S A LONG STORY.
SEE, WE
GOT... YEAH, IT'S A LONG STORY. SEE, WE GOT... WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
[LAUGHTER]
YEAH.
[LAUGHTER] YEAH. WE ARE GOING OUT TO DINNER
TO CELEBRATE OUR ANNIVERSARY.
I'M TAKING HER
TO LE PETITE FROMAGE.
OH, FANCY.
I KNOW, THE SOUP'S $30.
[LAUGHTER]
COME ON, BABY.
OKAY, BABY.
DON'T ORDER THE SOUP.
ALL RIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]
OH MAN, YOU DO REEK.
[LAUGHTER] OH MAN, YOU DO REEK. YEAH, I KNOW.
I NEED A BUBBLE BATH.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S COOL I NEED
A BUBBLE BATH. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S COOL BECAUSE THEN I'll BE ABLE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S COOL BECAUSE THEN I'll BE ABLE TO TAKE SHOWER AFTERWARDS.
WHOA.
[LAUGHTER]
WHOA. [LAUGHTER] HELLO?
[LAUGHTER] HELLO? HELLO?
HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HEY.
HELLO? HEY. WE'RE IN THE BAG.
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, I'll TELL YOU.
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? WELL, I'll TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON.
THAT TYLER KID,
MEGAN'S ASSISTANT.
ARGH.
HEY, BOOPS.
[LAUGHTER]
HOW'S IT HANGING?
[LAUGHTER]
HEY, TELL YOUR FRIEND TYLER
TO CUT US DOWN.
TYLER DIDN'T DO THIS.
I DID.
I FIRED TYLER.
WHY?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO BUSY
TO PRANK US. I THOUGHT
YOU WERE TOO BUSY TO PRANK US. YEAH, BUT LETTING
SOMEBODY ELSE MAKE
YOUR LIVES MISERABLE,
DOESN'T GIVE ME
THAT SAME WARM FEELING I GET
FROM DOING IT MYSELF,
SO I'll MAKE TIME.
LATER.
[LAUGHTER]
LATER. [LAUGHTER] HEY. [LAUGHTER] HEY. MEGAN, WAIT.
HEY, CAN YOU AT LEAST GET US
DOWN FROM HERE?
SURE.
AWW. UGH.
[LAUGHTER]
THANK YOU.
[LAUGHTER] GOODNIGHT.
[ MUSIC ]
OH, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. GRAB THE BOX.
OKAY.
COME ON, GRAB ME.
I GOT YOU.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
[CRYING]
I'M GRABBING THEM
AS FAST AS I CAN.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE TRANSCRIPTION
COMPANY BURBANK, CA WWW.TRANSCRIPTS.NET [CRYING]